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spn_springflingTitle: Crash Course
Pairing: Castiel (gen)
Rating: R
Any warnings: The sex scenes of a fictional hentai very, very, very lightly described and spoilers for SPN S9 (Cas’s story, at least)
After spending a couple of weeks after leaving the bunker where Dean and Sam were—as per Dean’s strange request to do so—Castiel had decided it was time to learn a bit more about humanity. It wasn’t that he was completely ignorant of the species. After all, he had spent the last four or so years—longer?—with Dean and Sam, watching how they interacted with their world. But he still didn’t really understand any of the little tidbits that made humans, well, human. In fact, just the other day at his job as a worker at a local convenience store, some man had made some joke about stumbling into the wrong bar and being cornered by bears. He had looked so disappointed when Castiel had asked what kind of civilized establishment allowed wild animals to wander free without proper trainers present. Once the men had left, his boss, Nora, explained where the misunderstanding had occurred.
So, with the store now closed and safely locked up for the night, Castiel began to set himself up in the office in the back that was, secretly, doubling as his living quarters. Nora had an old TV and DVD player on a rolling cart back there—she claimed for training videos, but Castiel had never been shown one—and the former angel now ignored his sleeping bag—still rolled up—in favor of the slightly worn, gray upholstered rolling chair.
He had learned a little bit about humanity from watching Dean and Sam, but for this first lesson in truly learning what it meant to be human, he decided to tackle a topic that had always baffled him. He pulled the DVD from where he had hidden it inside the roll of his sleeping bag, opening the cover with a single pop, and slid the disc into the player.
His confusion was already great, just by the cover of the movie. It was animated, but in a style more common in Japan called anime. The movie’s name was visible in its original Japanese form underneath the English translation—which was Darkness Within. From what Castiel remembered of Japanese, the translation wasn’t exact, but it was close enough. It was all still odd, though, given the brightness of the colors on the cover—vivid reds, oranges, yellows, and pinks. However, the busty blonde woman did appear to be in some sort of distress, given her facial expression. But there was one thing that Castiel knew for certain about human culture, and that was the phrase, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” He supposed this held true for movies as well. Besides, he had overheard Dean mentioning this one before. It was supposed to be one of the best ones—whatever that meant.
The movie was starting out simply enough. A beautiful woman being put down by some of the men around her because they couldn’t see the brains behind the beauty. Castiel could understand the appeal of such themes, but really only in audiences where they would apply. Dean Winchester was not a member of such an audience. Castiel leaned on the desk in front of him, blinking as he watched the girl meet a guy who seemed to value her for who she was. Okay, that was a positive, upbeat message. Perhaps Dean was secretly just a romantic at heart.
There was a very graphic scene of… sex. Castiel wanted to refer to it as copulation or mating, as he would have done as an angel. But basic knowledge of human physiology wouldn’t allow him to do that, as there would have been no way the girl could have procreated from that sexual position. Was all of humanity’s interests drowned in graphic sex? His mind flashed back, briefly, to the Pizza Man, and he sighed. Maybe it was.
The movie took a turn for the strange after that. A scene shown from the point of view of some of the men that the girl worked with began with them in a dark basement, wearing robes and chanting absolutely nonsense. Apparently, they were summoning some old god—never a good idea, Castiel mentally noted—and they were talking about the sacrifice that they would need.
It was all downhill from there. The girl was kidnapped as the creature was brought into being. It was a massive thing. It was pulsating and pink, with its torso being nothing in comparison to the thick, slick tentacles that jutted out from it. The girl was being held by each wrist and each ankle by a different tentacle, and the men who had summoned the creature were chanting that it was about to take its sacrifice. Castiel prepared himself for what was surely about to be a scene full of blood and gore, when it took a 180-turn in the other direction. Head cocked to the side, Castiel watched as the creature used its tentacles to… he was going to stick with “copulate” for this one… with the woman. The creature did everything sexually imaginable to the girl with its tentacles, while she screamed… well, either in pleasure or for help. Neither was very clear.
The movie came to an abrupt end with the monster being defeated after satisfying its lust and one more sex scene between the girl and her true love. Castiel allowed the credits to roll as he sat back, staring blankly at the screen.
He didn’t get it. As an angel, definitely not, but not even as a human. Yes, the terror of being assaulted by tentacles he could grasp. They were everywhere! There had been no way the girl could escape. The reality of an inescapable situation was never clearer than it was to him now. But… as Castiel ran his gaze over the reviews printed on the back of the DVD case calling the movie “hot” and “sexually charged” he was just baffled. What about what he had just watched was sexually pleasing? Sighing, he knew there was only one way to find out.
Castiel called Dean’s cell, and the elder Winchester answered within moments.
“Cas?” he asked.
“Sorry to bother you, Dean, but I’m at a bit of a loss. I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“Sure,” he said, sounding worried. “What is it?”
Another sigh. “Dean, could you explain to me the sexual attraction of tentacles violating a helpless young girl to humans?”
A set of harsh noises followed, and Castiel’s brow furrowed.
“Dean? Dean, are you choking?”
fin
Pairing: Castiel (gen)
Rating: R
Any warnings: The sex scenes of a fictional hentai very, very, very lightly described and spoilers for SPN S9 (Cas’s story, at least)
After spending a couple of weeks after leaving the bunker where Dean and Sam were—as per Dean’s strange request to do so—Castiel had decided it was time to learn a bit more about humanity. It wasn’t that he was completely ignorant of the species. After all, he had spent the last four or so years—longer?—with Dean and Sam, watching how they interacted with their world. But he still didn’t really understand any of the little tidbits that made humans, well, human. In fact, just the other day at his job as a worker at a local convenience store, some man had made some joke about stumbling into the wrong bar and being cornered by bears. He had looked so disappointed when Castiel had asked what kind of civilized establishment allowed wild animals to wander free without proper trainers present. Once the men had left, his boss, Nora, explained where the misunderstanding had occurred.
So, with the store now closed and safely locked up for the night, Castiel began to set himself up in the office in the back that was, secretly, doubling as his living quarters. Nora had an old TV and DVD player on a rolling cart back there—she claimed for training videos, but Castiel had never been shown one—and the former angel now ignored his sleeping bag—still rolled up—in favor of the slightly worn, gray upholstered rolling chair.
He had learned a little bit about humanity from watching Dean and Sam, but for this first lesson in truly learning what it meant to be human, he decided to tackle a topic that had always baffled him. He pulled the DVD from where he had hidden it inside the roll of his sleeping bag, opening the cover with a single pop, and slid the disc into the player.
His confusion was already great, just by the cover of the movie. It was animated, but in a style more common in Japan called anime. The movie’s name was visible in its original Japanese form underneath the English translation—which was Darkness Within. From what Castiel remembered of Japanese, the translation wasn’t exact, but it was close enough. It was all still odd, though, given the brightness of the colors on the cover—vivid reds, oranges, yellows, and pinks. However, the busty blonde woman did appear to be in some sort of distress, given her facial expression. But there was one thing that Castiel knew for certain about human culture, and that was the phrase, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” He supposed this held true for movies as well. Besides, he had overheard Dean mentioning this one before. It was supposed to be one of the best ones—whatever that meant.
The movie was starting out simply enough. A beautiful woman being put down by some of the men around her because they couldn’t see the brains behind the beauty. Castiel could understand the appeal of such themes, but really only in audiences where they would apply. Dean Winchester was not a member of such an audience. Castiel leaned on the desk in front of him, blinking as he watched the girl meet a guy who seemed to value her for who she was. Okay, that was a positive, upbeat message. Perhaps Dean was secretly just a romantic at heart.
There was a very graphic scene of… sex. Castiel wanted to refer to it as copulation or mating, as he would have done as an angel. But basic knowledge of human physiology wouldn’t allow him to do that, as there would have been no way the girl could have procreated from that sexual position. Was all of humanity’s interests drowned in graphic sex? His mind flashed back, briefly, to the Pizza Man, and he sighed. Maybe it was.
The movie took a turn for the strange after that. A scene shown from the point of view of some of the men that the girl worked with began with them in a dark basement, wearing robes and chanting absolutely nonsense. Apparently, they were summoning some old god—never a good idea, Castiel mentally noted—and they were talking about the sacrifice that they would need.
It was all downhill from there. The girl was kidnapped as the creature was brought into being. It was a massive thing. It was pulsating and pink, with its torso being nothing in comparison to the thick, slick tentacles that jutted out from it. The girl was being held by each wrist and each ankle by a different tentacle, and the men who had summoned the creature were chanting that it was about to take its sacrifice. Castiel prepared himself for what was surely about to be a scene full of blood and gore, when it took a 180-turn in the other direction. Head cocked to the side, Castiel watched as the creature used its tentacles to… he was going to stick with “copulate” for this one… with the woman. The creature did everything sexually imaginable to the girl with its tentacles, while she screamed… well, either in pleasure or for help. Neither was very clear.
The movie came to an abrupt end with the monster being defeated after satisfying its lust and one more sex scene between the girl and her true love. Castiel allowed the credits to roll as he sat back, staring blankly at the screen.
He didn’t get it. As an angel, definitely not, but not even as a human. Yes, the terror of being assaulted by tentacles he could grasp. They were everywhere! There had been no way the girl could escape. The reality of an inescapable situation was never clearer than it was to him now. But… as Castiel ran his gaze over the reviews printed on the back of the DVD case calling the movie “hot” and “sexually charged” he was just baffled. What about what he had just watched was sexually pleasing? Sighing, he knew there was only one way to find out.
Castiel called Dean’s cell, and the elder Winchester answered within moments.
“Cas?” he asked.
“Sorry to bother you, Dean, but I’m at a bit of a loss. I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“Sure,” he said, sounding worried. “What is it?”
Another sigh. “Dean, could you explain to me the sexual attraction of tentacles violating a helpless young girl to humans?”
A set of harsh noises followed, and Castiel’s brow furrowed.
“Dean? Dean, are you choking?”
fin
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Date: 2015-03-23 10:51 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2015-03-26 10:51 pm (UTC)Really loved this, Cas' confusion, Cas remembering the pizza man, Cas calling Dean. Pure gold.
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