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Mar. 23rd, 2015 01:00 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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spn_springflingTitle: Pieces
Pairing: Dean/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13
Any warnings: none
"You have glasses," Gabriel says, blinking. "When did you get glasses?"
Dean, still orienting himself the way he always has to when he falls asleep and finds himself here, even after all these years, can only manage a shrug. He reaches up to touch the wire frames. It's been a couple years – his eyes were the first thing to start giving up the ghost after he turned fifty, which is just royally unfair considering Sam is the one burning out his retinas every day on his computer – but he doesn't want to tell Gabriel that, really.
"It must have taken you a while to acclimate to them, if they finally became part of you on a subconscious level, enough that you dream yourself with them," Gabriel prods. "One year? Two? Ten?" Like Dean feared, he looks depressed.
"Jut over two," Dean finally admits, because it's better than Gabriel torturing himself.
"I see you every night, and I didn't know." Gabriel's mouth twists unhappily. "This sucks."
It does suck. It has for a long time. Even when Dean still thought these were just regular (if strange) dreams, he thought it sucked. It's amazing how well you can get to know someone when you only see them in your dreams. How quickly you can get used to them being there. How much you start wishing you could see them all the time.
Back when it first started, Gabriel would have barely made it off Dean's list of things to be ganked, let along onto his Christmas card list. And now…
Well. Now is almost twenty years later. A lot changes in twenty years.
Dean reaches for Gabriel, pulling him close even when Gabriel seems reluctant. "I'm sorry," he offers, although it's not his fault any more than it's Gabriel's.
Gabriel sighs, giving in and nuzzling into Dean's chest. "I keep thinking that maybe someday, maybe soon, maybe just another year…but then one year after another keeps passing." He gives a suspicious-sounding sniff, and Dean holds him tighter. "There's just not enough of me left. Maybe there never will be."
"Shut the fuck up," Dean says harshly, digging his fingers into Gabriel's spine. "Don't you go giving up, you hear me?"
"Spoken like a true Winchester," Gabriel snorts. "All gung-ho attitude, no brains to back it up."
Dean swats the back of his head. "There's enough of you left, asshole, you just have to find all the missing pieces. Nobody ever said it was gonna be easy." Scattered grace could spread throughout the cosmos, with no rhyme or reason where it ended up, but Cas and Gabe had seemed reasonably sure that no piece of an archangel's grace could actually be destroyed. That there was enough left of Gabriel's grace to keep him tethered just this little bit was basically a miracle in itself. It gave Dean hope. It had given Gabriel hope, for a long time.
"I want to see you again in your lifetime," Gabriel said, his voice muffled by the way his face was pressed against Dean. "I want to hold you and have it be real."
"You're getting sappy in your old ago," Dean joked, keeping his tone light to cover the ache of how much he wanted the same thing.
Gabriel pouted up at Dean as he pulled away. "How long will this be enough, Dean-o? How long until you decide you want something real? Or, barring that, until you realize how filled with regret you are that you didn't go for something real sooner?"
"I always knew you were a douchebag, but I never had you pegged as an idiot until just now," Dean growled. "This, you and me? This is real. Who cares if it's not normal? It's our normal. Christ, Gabe, even Sammy doesn't question it anymore, why are you?" Dean was far more used to his snappy, sarcastic, smarmy archangel. He didn't like this depressed version, and he wanted to fix it. Usually he was the maudlin, mopey ex-hunter wondering what the hell he was doing with his life. He didn't know how to deal with the switch.
"I just don't want you to hate me, okay?" Gabriel practically spat the words, turning on his heel and stomping across the room. "I don't want you to resent me for keeping you from a normal –"
"I swear to god, if you say normal, apple-pie life, I'm gonna deck you, and I don't even care if I break my imaginary hand." Dean strode across the room, and spun Gabriel around by the shoulder so he was facing him again. "Get it through your head right here, right now. I don't want that. I don't actually think I ever wanted that. And I sure as hell don't need you telling me what I should or shouldn't have in my life. I got everything I need or want, and it starts with Sammy and ends with you, you dick."
Gabriel didn't appear to know how to respond to that, flushed and frowning and hopeful-looking all at once. He stayed quiet (a first, Dean thought), but didn't resist Dean turning him and gently steering them both to the bed.
"Come on, lie down," Dean said, already bouncing onto the mattress and tugging at Gabriel's arm. "We're gonna cuddle – yeah, I said it, don't give me that look – and we're gonna stop thinking depressing things, and there will be no more stupid talk about giving up on anything, you hear me?"
Gabriel's lips were twitching into a reluctant grin as he followed Dean's lead, kicking off his shoes and flopping down onto the soft mattress. "Yeah, Winchester, I hear you."
"Good." Dean tugged again, and spent the next few minutes rearranging them so that he was spooned up behind Gabriel, holding him close and pressing a soft kiss into Gabriel's neck.
"Why am I always the little spoon?" Gabriel grouched, but even as Dean snorted, he was snuggling back against him, letting out a happy little sigh as he dragged Dean's arm across his middle and tangled their fingers together.
They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Dean spoke softly. "I never told you this, but there was a time I had myself convinced that someday, you were going to get your mojo back, and you'd snap your fingers and disappear for good. Didn't matter what we had or how I felt, you'd just be gone, enjoying the world being your oyster again or whatever."
Gabriel made a hurt little sound, trying to turn in Dean's arms, but Dean held him still, squeezing Gabriel's fingers.
"Even that's not the whole thing, though," Dean continued. "Whenever I thought about that, I was totally convinced that it would be the right thing for you. Like you'd be being held back, staying with me. Sometimes I still think that."
"Dean, no –"
"My point," Dean interrupted doggedly, because he was fast running out of steam for this touchy-feely crap, "is that there is no right or wrong, not really. Life is about taking chances, whether you’re an angel or a human. As for me, I've never been big on faith, but we're good together, Gabe. God knows I never expected that, but now? I have faith in us. And I know you do too. So whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere."
"Neither am I," Gabriel said after a long, tense moment. "I mean, in case it wasn't obvious, I'm pretty fond of you. And that faith thing…that goes both ways, okay? No matter what."
"Good," Dean said again, and finally allowed himself to fully relax.
"So." Gabriel brought Dean's hand up and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. Dean didn't comment on the way his hand were trembling just slightly. "How was your day, dear?"
And Dean, as he did every night, told Gabriel all about it, sharing as much as he could and letting Gabriel interject as often as he pleased, until it felt like Gabriel had been there with him the whole time.
Because really, simple or complicated, conventional or not, Gabriel had been. In every way that mattered.
Pairing: Dean/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13
Any warnings: none
"You have glasses," Gabriel says, blinking. "When did you get glasses?"
Dean, still orienting himself the way he always has to when he falls asleep and finds himself here, even after all these years, can only manage a shrug. He reaches up to touch the wire frames. It's been a couple years – his eyes were the first thing to start giving up the ghost after he turned fifty, which is just royally unfair considering Sam is the one burning out his retinas every day on his computer – but he doesn't want to tell Gabriel that, really.
"It must have taken you a while to acclimate to them, if they finally became part of you on a subconscious level, enough that you dream yourself with them," Gabriel prods. "One year? Two? Ten?" Like Dean feared, he looks depressed.
"Jut over two," Dean finally admits, because it's better than Gabriel torturing himself.
"I see you every night, and I didn't know." Gabriel's mouth twists unhappily. "This sucks."
It does suck. It has for a long time. Even when Dean still thought these were just regular (if strange) dreams, he thought it sucked. It's amazing how well you can get to know someone when you only see them in your dreams. How quickly you can get used to them being there. How much you start wishing you could see them all the time.
Back when it first started, Gabriel would have barely made it off Dean's list of things to be ganked, let along onto his Christmas card list. And now…
Well. Now is almost twenty years later. A lot changes in twenty years.
Dean reaches for Gabriel, pulling him close even when Gabriel seems reluctant. "I'm sorry," he offers, although it's not his fault any more than it's Gabriel's.
Gabriel sighs, giving in and nuzzling into Dean's chest. "I keep thinking that maybe someday, maybe soon, maybe just another year…but then one year after another keeps passing." He gives a suspicious-sounding sniff, and Dean holds him tighter. "There's just not enough of me left. Maybe there never will be."
"Shut the fuck up," Dean says harshly, digging his fingers into Gabriel's spine. "Don't you go giving up, you hear me?"
"Spoken like a true Winchester," Gabriel snorts. "All gung-ho attitude, no brains to back it up."
Dean swats the back of his head. "There's enough of you left, asshole, you just have to find all the missing pieces. Nobody ever said it was gonna be easy." Scattered grace could spread throughout the cosmos, with no rhyme or reason where it ended up, but Cas and Gabe had seemed reasonably sure that no piece of an archangel's grace could actually be destroyed. That there was enough left of Gabriel's grace to keep him tethered just this little bit was basically a miracle in itself. It gave Dean hope. It had given Gabriel hope, for a long time.
"I want to see you again in your lifetime," Gabriel said, his voice muffled by the way his face was pressed against Dean. "I want to hold you and have it be real."
"You're getting sappy in your old ago," Dean joked, keeping his tone light to cover the ache of how much he wanted the same thing.
Gabriel pouted up at Dean as he pulled away. "How long will this be enough, Dean-o? How long until you decide you want something real? Or, barring that, until you realize how filled with regret you are that you didn't go for something real sooner?"
"I always knew you were a douchebag, but I never had you pegged as an idiot until just now," Dean growled. "This, you and me? This is real. Who cares if it's not normal? It's our normal. Christ, Gabe, even Sammy doesn't question it anymore, why are you?" Dean was far more used to his snappy, sarcastic, smarmy archangel. He didn't like this depressed version, and he wanted to fix it. Usually he was the maudlin, mopey ex-hunter wondering what the hell he was doing with his life. He didn't know how to deal with the switch.
"I just don't want you to hate me, okay?" Gabriel practically spat the words, turning on his heel and stomping across the room. "I don't want you to resent me for keeping you from a normal –"
"I swear to god, if you say normal, apple-pie life, I'm gonna deck you, and I don't even care if I break my imaginary hand." Dean strode across the room, and spun Gabriel around by the shoulder so he was facing him again. "Get it through your head right here, right now. I don't want that. I don't actually think I ever wanted that. And I sure as hell don't need you telling me what I should or shouldn't have in my life. I got everything I need or want, and it starts with Sammy and ends with you, you dick."
Gabriel didn't appear to know how to respond to that, flushed and frowning and hopeful-looking all at once. He stayed quiet (a first, Dean thought), but didn't resist Dean turning him and gently steering them both to the bed.
"Come on, lie down," Dean said, already bouncing onto the mattress and tugging at Gabriel's arm. "We're gonna cuddle – yeah, I said it, don't give me that look – and we're gonna stop thinking depressing things, and there will be no more stupid talk about giving up on anything, you hear me?"
Gabriel's lips were twitching into a reluctant grin as he followed Dean's lead, kicking off his shoes and flopping down onto the soft mattress. "Yeah, Winchester, I hear you."
"Good." Dean tugged again, and spent the next few minutes rearranging them so that he was spooned up behind Gabriel, holding him close and pressing a soft kiss into Gabriel's neck.
"Why am I always the little spoon?" Gabriel grouched, but even as Dean snorted, he was snuggling back against him, letting out a happy little sigh as he dragged Dean's arm across his middle and tangled their fingers together.
They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Dean spoke softly. "I never told you this, but there was a time I had myself convinced that someday, you were going to get your mojo back, and you'd snap your fingers and disappear for good. Didn't matter what we had or how I felt, you'd just be gone, enjoying the world being your oyster again or whatever."
Gabriel made a hurt little sound, trying to turn in Dean's arms, but Dean held him still, squeezing Gabriel's fingers.
"Even that's not the whole thing, though," Dean continued. "Whenever I thought about that, I was totally convinced that it would be the right thing for you. Like you'd be being held back, staying with me. Sometimes I still think that."
"Dean, no –"
"My point," Dean interrupted doggedly, because he was fast running out of steam for this touchy-feely crap, "is that there is no right or wrong, not really. Life is about taking chances, whether you’re an angel or a human. As for me, I've never been big on faith, but we're good together, Gabe. God knows I never expected that, but now? I have faith in us. And I know you do too. So whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere."
"Neither am I," Gabriel said after a long, tense moment. "I mean, in case it wasn't obvious, I'm pretty fond of you. And that faith thing…that goes both ways, okay? No matter what."
"Good," Dean said again, and finally allowed himself to fully relax.
"So." Gabriel brought Dean's hand up and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. Dean didn't comment on the way his hand were trembling just slightly. "How was your day, dear?"
And Dean, as he did every night, told Gabriel all about it, sharing as much as he could and letting Gabriel interject as often as he pleased, until it felt like Gabriel had been there with him the whole time.
Because really, simple or complicated, conventional or not, Gabriel had been. In every way that mattered.
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Date: 2015-03-23 08:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-31 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-23 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-31 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-31 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-23 10:11 am (UTC)and cuddles <3 I love the cuddles
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Date: 2015-03-31 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-23 11:45 am (UTC)Really liked that Dean in 20 years is still as stubborn, bossy and loyal as he is now.
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Date: 2015-03-31 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-23 12:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-31 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-23 05:29 pm (UTC)Dean was far more used to his snappy, sarcastic, smarmy archangel. He didn't like this depressed version, and he wanted to fix it. Usually he was the maudlin, mopey ex-hunter wondering what the hell he was doing with his life. He didn't know how to deal with the switch.
Arghh, perfect!! Thank you so much for playing :))
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Date: 2015-03-31 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-23 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-31 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-24 08:23 pm (UTC)This was really sweet and lovely!
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Date: 2015-03-31 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-26 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-31 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-09 10:53 pm (UTC)I love love love the dialogue and of course, Gabriel being all insecure and Dean telling him not to give up because he won't give up on Gabriel, and Dean admitting that he used to be insecure too. And that ending nearly killed me. These two are totally meant to be together and this fic cements that fact.
Thanks so much for the beautiful read.