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spn_springfling2016-03-16 11:45 pm
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Red Velvet Cake by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
soulmatecest for <user site="livejournal.com
Title: Red Velvet Cake
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Any warnings: Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Some Jared/Stephen.
Here’s why life is a rotten piece of shit: Jensen met Jared twenty-six years, four months, two weeks, and one engagement ring too late.
It’s not “When Sally Met Harry”, there are no years of friendship and the possibility of ruining it all with sex. There are no romantic walks in the park during autumn and no happy ending in the cinema. This is “When Jensen Met Jared, and he was already going to marry someone else.” No epic realization of how maybe, possibly, Jared won’t end up picking the one who has been his boyfriend since High School just to be with the poor motherfucker who bakes cakes for a living two blocks down his street. Nothing.
There isn’t anything that can be considered a romantic comedy in the fact that every morning when Jared walks in the bakery with a huge smile and a ring sparkling in his finger Jensen wants to use a knife from the kitchen to rip his own beating heart out and hand it bloody and completely damaged to Jared because, hey, he’s got it anyway. It’s been Jared’s since the first day.
“What’s with that face?” Jared asks, dimples in place and white beanie on his head indicating that he probably thinks he’s having a “bad hair day”. Like that’s even possible. As if there’s a single inch of bad in any part of Jared’s being.
“It’s the only one I’ve got. So order and fuck off so you don’t have to deal with it.” Jensen huffs, eyes dead after spending all night up planning ways to murder Stephen with his bare hands.
The guy working the counter hurries to get out of Jensen’s sight as soon as he catches a glimpse of his attitude that morning, but Jared doesn’t move away. He doesn’t even flinch, somehow fascinated by Jensen’s anal attitude and not caring about what an asshole he can be. Jensen bites his tongue, he’s trying here. How’s he supposed to get over Jared when no matter what he does Jared refuses to pull away a single inch?
“My, my. Someone didn’t have his coffee this morning, huh?”
“And someone didn’t get his dick sucked last night. Or you would be cuddling your
boyfriend instead of asking for cake and coffee at seven in the morning.”
It hurts more for Jensen to say it than for Jared to hear it, even if he flinches like a kicked puppy for a second.
With poison dripping from his tongue, Jensen wonders how long it will take to die from his own venom, pictures of Jared and Stephen tangled together in bed making him want to throw up his breakfast.
“He’s busy during the week, he gets home tired.” Jared shrugs, looking down at his fingernails. They both know it’s a lie. They both know Stephen has been acting weird the last months, but they also know Jared is too damn in love to do anything about it.
It’s such a dick move from Jensen to rub it in Jared’s face when he knows how much it worries him. Maybe he’s just trying to find a reason to make Jared explode and stay away until the wedding.
To stay away forever.
Sometimes Jensen wonders what would hurt more. Jared disappearing from his life or seeing Jared make “Amell” his new last name. It’s a sick little bet he has with himself. I wonder which one would make me drink until I pass out for a week straight.
I wonder which one will make me want to die harder.
“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Jensen brushes it off after a long silence, losing to Jared’s sad expression and the bloody murder screams in his head to stop torturing the only person he loves. It’s not Jared’s fault that it hurts so much to look at his left hand that sometimes Jensen has to blink tears away before anyone in the store will notice.
“Red velvet and coffee? Chocolates sprinkles on top are on me.”
It takes Jared a couple heartbeats and then he smiles. Like nothing. Like always. Jensen would
murder the entire population of Earth to always keep Jared that happy. “Add some cinnamon in the coffee and maybe I’ll forgive you for being such an asshole.”
“Impossible. You love me just how I am. Wouldn’t change me for the world, right baby?”
“Sure, handsome.”
Jensen huffs a smile and watches Jared go sit on his usual spot. The screaming in his head goes so wild it will probably give him a headache. He’ll take what he can get. Fake and joking. It doesn’t matter.
Jensen is broken and pathetic and will accept any lie that his heart can fathom.
Jared is the rich kid who lives close enough to the bakery to walk by every morning and ends up crashing it one Friday night, soaking wet and crying about his boyfriend not-loving-him-enough and so on. That’s how Jensen meets him. Sobbing his eyes out, hair a mess and dressed like he didn’t own a single mirror in his house.
Jensen had stopped to really consider if he should even let the annoying crying mess stay in the bakery when he was about to close, which was surprising on its own since he was born a fucking asshole and helping crying strangers was so far from Jensen’s personality he felt like having an out of body experience when he sat down next to Jared and mumbled “who the fuck are you and why are you so sad in my bakery?”
Granted, it wasn’t really Jensen’s bakery. He’s a sarcastic twenty-something ass with nothing to his name and too much bitterness towards the world. There’s nothing Jensen can call “his” beyond infinite debt and a smartass attitude.
And yet there he was, sitting in front of Jared, listening to him bawl about some Stephen who was probably cheating on him because Jared wasn’t good enough,
wasn’t attractive or interesting enough, because Stephen could do so much better and Jared was lucky they got together in the first place.
Because Jared wasn’t anything at all and Stephen was, apparently, the goddamn sun or some shit. Personally, Jensen thought the guy was a douchebag.
“Man. why are you with someone who makes you feel like that about yourself?” Jensen had inquired after two hours of nothing but Jared and his problems, with both of them now standing in the kitchen after Jensen decided to bake the poor bastard some dessert because nothing he said could stop Jared’s tears.
Jared had blinked, expression so sincere it made Jensen uncomfortable.
“Because I love him.”
It didn’t mean much then, but as time went by, those four words became the worst thing Jensen had ever heard.
“I look so stupid in that white tuxedo.”
“Yeah, you do.” Jensen blows the smoke through his nose, shaking his head disapprovingly as he stares at the photo on Jared’s phone. Jensen in the middle of his afternoon break and if Danneel saw him smoking and letting ashes fall on the same apron he wears while baking she would kill him. But, hey, dying is all Jensen has been dreaming for in the last six months. Might as well bring it. “You look like a stupid ass rich boy who’s about to marry another stupid ass rich boy. Mazel tov!”
Jared barks out a laugh, the sound so real it makes something deep in Jensen’s stomach tingle. It’s part smugness, part fondness. Knowing Jared only laughs like that for him. Because of him. Jensen smiles around his cigarette, fingers twitching on his legs to cup Jared’s face and follow his jawline until he’s touching his lower lip.
“I love when you’re such a smartass.”
“That’s all you love about good old me?” Jensen asks, like a fucking masochist. His heart beats a little too hard in his chest, a little too painful. Doesn’t matter, he thinks, just existing around him hurts bad enough. Let’s at least make the pain worth it. “You can do better than that, Jay.”
And Jared gives him this look. Like he knows. Like he can see right through Jensen’s flesh and bones and stare directly at the living, breathing thing that is Jensen’s utter love for him.
It lasts only a couple seconds and then Jared tilts his head up, looking at the sky and smiling again.
“Nah. I love much more than your anal personality, Jensen. I could stay here all day making a list if I started for real.”
Jensen thinks for about ten seconds about whether he should just jump right there from the roof and let either the fall or the cars driving in the street next to the bakery finally kill him.
Either of those two options would hurt less that Jared saying that while wearing Stephen’s engagement ring on his finger.
He’s making the cake for the fucking ceremony. Red velvet cake with two tiers. Jared’s favorite. The little sneaky shit managed to make Jensen promise he would bake the cake one afternoon they stayed together until late eating greasy pizza on the roof and talking about everything and nothing.
And Jensen said yes. Like the moron in love that he is, unable to deny anything to Jared when he looks him in the eye and catches even a glimpse of his dimples.
“You’re an idiot.” Danneel comments, clicking her tongue and shaking her head as she sees Jensen lazily checking the decoration models they have for wedding cakes.
She knows. Jensen has never told her a word about Jared, but he never needed to. He couldn’t be more transparent about it, how his world seems to start spinning around Jared as soon as he steps in the bakery.
Jensen doesn’t answer her, especially since he agrees completely. Baking the wedding cake for the guy he’s stupidly in love with idiot doesn’t even begin to describe him.
“Why wouldn’t you be at my wedding?”
Jared got back the invitation with the “won’t be attending”, Jensen guesses. He wouldn’t be at his apartment so late during a weekday for any other reason.
“I’m trash.” Jensen shrugs, conversationally. Jared flinches, eyes burning with angry tears and Jensen wants to make Jared laugh on the roof again. Wants to dry his hair late on a Friday night at the bakery and let him sob in his arms. Jensen always wants, wants, wants when he’s around Jared. But he knows he’ll never be able to have. “Look at you, look who you’re marrying. Now look at me.”
Jared’s boyfriend doesn’t even get why Jared loves hanging with the poor fuck who bakes cakes down the street so much. Stephen loves to look at Jensen like he’s dirt on his expensive shoes, and maybe Jensen is dirt when compared to the rich guy owner of a multi-millionaire company.
The piece of dirt in love with his fiancé.
“What the fuck am I gonna do at your wedding, Jared?”
And there it is again. That sincere expression that left Jensen’s breathless the first time he met Jared. The pureness in Jared’s feelings that Jensen has never been able to handle.
“Be with me.”
Jensen shakes his head, ignoring the painful beating in his ribcage. “You have Stephen for that now.”
It’s the end, they both know it. Whatever they are can’t keep going after Jared takes Stephen as his husband next weekend. It’s not what Jensen wants but that’s what is right.
I could make you happy. Jensen thinks, watching the pain reach every inch of Jared’s facial expressions. Y’know, if you weren’t already. If you weren’t happy since before you even met me.
When Jared turns around to leave without adding anything else Jensen wishes he could be more than a sarcastic twenty-something ass with nothing to his name and too much bitterness towards the world. He wishes he could be more than a broken baker, more than dirt on Stephen’s shoes and could at least be able to call Jared “his,” considering he’s the only person Jensen has ever loved.
So maybe life is not such a bitch after all, and here’s why: Jared leaves Stephen at the altar.
And that’s not even the best part. The cherry on top of the failed red velvet wedding cake is how he does it. Jared pushes him away when Stephen is leaning in for the kiss after the “I do’s”. Makes him back away and goes “Fuck you, I want to be with Jensen instead” in front of all their rich, snobby guests.
Well, maybe not in those exact words. Maybe Jensen is exaggerating the last part, but a guy can dream.
In reality there is some sobbing—Jensen wouldn’t expect different from his favorite crybaby—, Jared apologizing to Stephen and telling him he hoped they could remain friends.
Jensen rolls his eyes sarcastically when Jared tells him the entire story, with Jared’s head on his shoulder, using Jensen as a pillow while Jensen strokes Jared’s hair with one hand and brushes his naked back with the other. Jared is such a little kid living a fairytale. It would be cute if it wasn’t so naive.
But it’s Jared, so it’s still kind of cute.
Then, after dumping Stephen epically, Jared takes a cab to get to Jensen’s place, gets there still wearing his stupid white tuxedo and tearing up, mumbling stuff like “couldn’t do it” and “all I wanted when I walked down the aisle was you.”
“You left his sorry ass in the altar. Jared, I would be surprised if he doesn’t come to the bakery tomorrow to murder me.”
Jensen would take it though. Being with Jared seems like a very good reason to get himself killed.
“He wouldn’t dare!”
“Hey, it’s fine. I would let him send me straight to my grave if it means I can be with you, Jay.”
“Shut up, you’re not going anywhere now that I got an ‘I love you, too’ out of your smartass mouth after I said it.” Jared smiles, eating some of the cake Jensen baked in his little shitty apartment to celebrate Jared getting cold feet and them finally getting laid. The same red velvet kind Jensen baked of the wedding.
Jared declares him king of douchebags when he realizes the baking selection, laughing after the first bite.
Jensen steals the fork away from Jared when he gets distracted and Jared stops protesting when Jensen uses it to feed him some of the cake himself.
“As if I would want to go anywhere now that I’ve got you.”
Jensen met Jared twenty-six years, four months, two weeks, and one engagement ring too late. But thankfully, he also met him one wedding cake too early.
Red velvet is what they end up eating on their own wedding day a couple years later. With Jared in a not-so-stupid black tuxedo and Jensen standing next to him, finally being able to call “his” the one who always mattered.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Any warnings: Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Some Jared/Stephen.
Here’s why life is a rotten piece of shit: Jensen met Jared twenty-six years, four months, two weeks, and one engagement ring too late.
It’s not “When Sally Met Harry”, there are no years of friendship and the possibility of ruining it all with sex. There are no romantic walks in the park during autumn and no happy ending in the cinema. This is “When Jensen Met Jared, and he was already going to marry someone else.” No epic realization of how maybe, possibly, Jared won’t end up picking the one who has been his boyfriend since High School just to be with the poor motherfucker who bakes cakes for a living two blocks down his street. Nothing.
There isn’t anything that can be considered a romantic comedy in the fact that every morning when Jared walks in the bakery with a huge smile and a ring sparkling in his finger Jensen wants to use a knife from the kitchen to rip his own beating heart out and hand it bloody and completely damaged to Jared because, hey, he’s got it anyway. It’s been Jared’s since the first day.
“What’s with that face?” Jared asks, dimples in place and white beanie on his head indicating that he probably thinks he’s having a “bad hair day”. Like that’s even possible. As if there’s a single inch of bad in any part of Jared’s being.
“It’s the only one I’ve got. So order and fuck off so you don’t have to deal with it.” Jensen huffs, eyes dead after spending all night up planning ways to murder Stephen with his bare hands.
The guy working the counter hurries to get out of Jensen’s sight as soon as he catches a glimpse of his attitude that morning, but Jared doesn’t move away. He doesn’t even flinch, somehow fascinated by Jensen’s anal attitude and not caring about what an asshole he can be. Jensen bites his tongue, he’s trying here. How’s he supposed to get over Jared when no matter what he does Jared refuses to pull away a single inch?
“My, my. Someone didn’t have his coffee this morning, huh?”
“And someone didn’t get his dick sucked last night. Or you would be cuddling your
boyfriend instead of asking for cake and coffee at seven in the morning.”
It hurts more for Jensen to say it than for Jared to hear it, even if he flinches like a kicked puppy for a second.
With poison dripping from his tongue, Jensen wonders how long it will take to die from his own venom, pictures of Jared and Stephen tangled together in bed making him want to throw up his breakfast.
“He’s busy during the week, he gets home tired.” Jared shrugs, looking down at his fingernails. They both know it’s a lie. They both know Stephen has been acting weird the last months, but they also know Jared is too damn in love to do anything about it.
It’s such a dick move from Jensen to rub it in Jared’s face when he knows how much it worries him. Maybe he’s just trying to find a reason to make Jared explode and stay away until the wedding.
To stay away forever.
Sometimes Jensen wonders what would hurt more. Jared disappearing from his life or seeing Jared make “Amell” his new last name. It’s a sick little bet he has with himself. I wonder which one would make me drink until I pass out for a week straight.
I wonder which one will make me want to die harder.
“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Jensen brushes it off after a long silence, losing to Jared’s sad expression and the bloody murder screams in his head to stop torturing the only person he loves. It’s not Jared’s fault that it hurts so much to look at his left hand that sometimes Jensen has to blink tears away before anyone in the store will notice.
“Red velvet and coffee? Chocolates sprinkles on top are on me.”
It takes Jared a couple heartbeats and then he smiles. Like nothing. Like always. Jensen would
murder the entire population of Earth to always keep Jared that happy. “Add some cinnamon in the coffee and maybe I’ll forgive you for being such an asshole.”
“Impossible. You love me just how I am. Wouldn’t change me for the world, right baby?”
“Sure, handsome.”
Jensen huffs a smile and watches Jared go sit on his usual spot. The screaming in his head goes so wild it will probably give him a headache. He’ll take what he can get. Fake and joking. It doesn’t matter.
Jensen is broken and pathetic and will accept any lie that his heart can fathom.
—
Jared is the rich kid who lives close enough to the bakery to walk by every morning and ends up crashing it one Friday night, soaking wet and crying about his boyfriend not-loving-him-enough and so on. That’s how Jensen meets him. Sobbing his eyes out, hair a mess and dressed like he didn’t own a single mirror in his house.
Jensen had stopped to really consider if he should even let the annoying crying mess stay in the bakery when he was about to close, which was surprising on its own since he was born a fucking asshole and helping crying strangers was so far from Jensen’s personality he felt like having an out of body experience when he sat down next to Jared and mumbled “who the fuck are you and why are you so sad in my bakery?”
Granted, it wasn’t really Jensen’s bakery. He’s a sarcastic twenty-something ass with nothing to his name and too much bitterness towards the world. There’s nothing Jensen can call “his” beyond infinite debt and a smartass attitude.
And yet there he was, sitting in front of Jared, listening to him bawl about some Stephen who was probably cheating on him because Jared wasn’t good enough,
wasn’t attractive or interesting enough, because Stephen could do so much better and Jared was lucky they got together in the first place.
Because Jared wasn’t anything at all and Stephen was, apparently, the goddamn sun or some shit. Personally, Jensen thought the guy was a douchebag.
“Man. why are you with someone who makes you feel like that about yourself?” Jensen had inquired after two hours of nothing but Jared and his problems, with both of them now standing in the kitchen after Jensen decided to bake the poor bastard some dessert because nothing he said could stop Jared’s tears.
Jared had blinked, expression so sincere it made Jensen uncomfortable.
“Because I love him.”
It didn’t mean much then, but as time went by, those four words became the worst thing Jensen had ever heard.
—
“I look so stupid in that white tuxedo.”
“Yeah, you do.” Jensen blows the smoke through his nose, shaking his head disapprovingly as he stares at the photo on Jared’s phone. Jensen in the middle of his afternoon break and if Danneel saw him smoking and letting ashes fall on the same apron he wears while baking she would kill him. But, hey, dying is all Jensen has been dreaming for in the last six months. Might as well bring it. “You look like a stupid ass rich boy who’s about to marry another stupid ass rich boy. Mazel tov!”
Jared barks out a laugh, the sound so real it makes something deep in Jensen’s stomach tingle. It’s part smugness, part fondness. Knowing Jared only laughs like that for him. Because of him. Jensen smiles around his cigarette, fingers twitching on his legs to cup Jared’s face and follow his jawline until he’s touching his lower lip.
“I love when you’re such a smartass.”
“That’s all you love about good old me?” Jensen asks, like a fucking masochist. His heart beats a little too hard in his chest, a little too painful. Doesn’t matter, he thinks, just existing around him hurts bad enough. Let’s at least make the pain worth it. “You can do better than that, Jay.”
And Jared gives him this look. Like he knows. Like he can see right through Jensen’s flesh and bones and stare directly at the living, breathing thing that is Jensen’s utter love for him.
It lasts only a couple seconds and then Jared tilts his head up, looking at the sky and smiling again.
“Nah. I love much more than your anal personality, Jensen. I could stay here all day making a list if I started for real.”
Jensen thinks for about ten seconds about whether he should just jump right there from the roof and let either the fall or the cars driving in the street next to the bakery finally kill him.
Either of those two options would hurt less that Jared saying that while wearing Stephen’s engagement ring on his finger.
—
He’s making the cake for the fucking ceremony. Red velvet cake with two tiers. Jared’s favorite. The little sneaky shit managed to make Jensen promise he would bake the cake one afternoon they stayed together until late eating greasy pizza on the roof and talking about everything and nothing.
And Jensen said yes. Like the moron in love that he is, unable to deny anything to Jared when he looks him in the eye and catches even a glimpse of his dimples.
“You’re an idiot.” Danneel comments, clicking her tongue and shaking her head as she sees Jensen lazily checking the decoration models they have for wedding cakes.
She knows. Jensen has never told her a word about Jared, but he never needed to. He couldn’t be more transparent about it, how his world seems to start spinning around Jared as soon as he steps in the bakery.
Jensen doesn’t answer her, especially since he agrees completely. Baking the wedding cake for the guy he’s stupidly in love with idiot doesn’t even begin to describe him.
—
“Why wouldn’t you be at my wedding?”
Jared got back the invitation with the “won’t be attending”, Jensen guesses. He wouldn’t be at his apartment so late during a weekday for any other reason.
“I’m trash.” Jensen shrugs, conversationally. Jared flinches, eyes burning with angry tears and Jensen wants to make Jared laugh on the roof again. Wants to dry his hair late on a Friday night at the bakery and let him sob in his arms. Jensen always wants, wants, wants when he’s around Jared. But he knows he’ll never be able to have. “Look at you, look who you’re marrying. Now look at me.”
Jared’s boyfriend doesn’t even get why Jared loves hanging with the poor fuck who bakes cakes down the street so much. Stephen loves to look at Jensen like he’s dirt on his expensive shoes, and maybe Jensen is dirt when compared to the rich guy owner of a multi-millionaire company.
The piece of dirt in love with his fiancé.
“What the fuck am I gonna do at your wedding, Jared?”
And there it is again. That sincere expression that left Jensen’s breathless the first time he met Jared. The pureness in Jared’s feelings that Jensen has never been able to handle.
“Be with me.”
Jensen shakes his head, ignoring the painful beating in his ribcage. “You have Stephen for that now.”
It’s the end, they both know it. Whatever they are can’t keep going after Jared takes Stephen as his husband next weekend. It’s not what Jensen wants but that’s what is right.
I could make you happy. Jensen thinks, watching the pain reach every inch of Jared’s facial expressions. Y’know, if you weren’t already. If you weren’t happy since before you even met me.
When Jared turns around to leave without adding anything else Jensen wishes he could be more than a sarcastic twenty-something ass with nothing to his name and too much bitterness towards the world. He wishes he could be more than a broken baker, more than dirt on Stephen’s shoes and could at least be able to call Jared “his,” considering he’s the only person Jensen has ever loved.
—
So maybe life is not such a bitch after all, and here’s why: Jared leaves Stephen at the altar.
And that’s not even the best part. The cherry on top of the failed red velvet wedding cake is how he does it. Jared pushes him away when Stephen is leaning in for the kiss after the “I do’s”. Makes him back away and goes “Fuck you, I want to be with Jensen instead” in front of all their rich, snobby guests.
Well, maybe not in those exact words. Maybe Jensen is exaggerating the last part, but a guy can dream.
In reality there is some sobbing—Jensen wouldn’t expect different from his favorite crybaby—, Jared apologizing to Stephen and telling him he hoped they could remain friends.
Jensen rolls his eyes sarcastically when Jared tells him the entire story, with Jared’s head on his shoulder, using Jensen as a pillow while Jensen strokes Jared’s hair with one hand and brushes his naked back with the other. Jared is such a little kid living a fairytale. It would be cute if it wasn’t so naive.
But it’s Jared, so it’s still kind of cute.
Then, after dumping Stephen epically, Jared takes a cab to get to Jensen’s place, gets there still wearing his stupid white tuxedo and tearing up, mumbling stuff like “couldn’t do it” and “all I wanted when I walked down the aisle was you.”
“You left his sorry ass in the altar. Jared, I would be surprised if he doesn’t come to the bakery tomorrow to murder me.”
Jensen would take it though. Being with Jared seems like a very good reason to get himself killed.
“He wouldn’t dare!”
“Hey, it’s fine. I would let him send me straight to my grave if it means I can be with you, Jay.”
“Shut up, you’re not going anywhere now that I got an ‘I love you, too’ out of your smartass mouth after I said it.” Jared smiles, eating some of the cake Jensen baked in his little shitty apartment to celebrate Jared getting cold feet and them finally getting laid. The same red velvet kind Jensen baked of the wedding.
Jared declares him king of douchebags when he realizes the baking selection, laughing after the first bite.
Jensen steals the fork away from Jared when he gets distracted and Jared stops protesting when Jensen uses it to feed him some of the cake himself.
“As if I would want to go anywhere now that I’ve got you.”
—
Jensen met Jared twenty-six years, four months, two weeks, and one engagement ring too late. But thankfully, he also met him one wedding cake too early.
Red velvet is what they end up eating on their own wedding day a couple years later. With Jared in a not-so-stupid black tuxedo and Jensen standing next to him, finally being able to call “his” the one who always mattered.