Filia Errans by killabeez for <user site="livejournal.com" user

[springflingmod.livejournal.com]

Title: Filia Errans
Pairing: Claire/Alex
Rating: PG-13


Alex rounded the corner toward the parking lot, and her heart sank. It was too late to turn around; Madison, Taylor, and their mini-mes had already spotted her. Figured. As if this day could get any worse. She leveled her shoulders and kept her chin up, striding toward them without letting her step falter, even as she wished she’d never come to school today.

“Freak,” Madison said as she strode past, enunciating like it was a three syllable word, emphasis on the k. Alex’s face heated, but she’d endured far worse. She kept going.

She made it another ten feet before Taylor chimed in, sing-songing, “Lock up your boyfriends, girls, she’s a mannnneater.”

Alex stopped, sucking air in through her nose. Cold rage flooded her, and the metallic taste of murderous intent bloomed in her throat. A hundred pervy assholes in a hundred skeezy bars had died screaming because they’d thought of her as prey. But she’d spent almost two years becoming a person again, and her brothers were all dead because of her. That Alex was gone—she had to be. She closed her eyes and willed herself to keep moving.

A low, derisive voice cut through the girls’ snickering. “Do you even realize the level of your own patheticness? Or are you so brainless that you actually think being shallow, ignorant assholes makes you somehow better than other people? Because all I see is a giant waste of air.”

Alex turned around, knowing that scornful sneer intimately. Claire. Looking as effortlessly gorgeous and badass as usual, appearing as if out of nowhere. Her reputation preceded her: ever since she’d pulled a sword on Doug Childers and his girlfriend up at Braeden Point, she was kind of a legend—and not the good kind. Though she wasn’t brandishing a weapon at the moment, the threat was palpable, and her split lip and bruised face only made her look more intimidating. Alex had to admit scared shitless was a good look on Taylor.

“I wasn’t—“ Taylor started.

Claire’s lip curled in disgust, and she turned to Alex. “I’m sorry, did you hear something? I thought I heard something.”

“Not a thing,” Alex said. Claire grinned, and Alex smiled back despite herself. The clenched feeling in her stomach eased so suddenly, it felt like butterflies.

~ * ~

Alex glanced at Claire as she drove them home. “You know, you’re kind of scary when you want to be.” It was true. Ever since Claire had taken Henry’s head off with a machete, there’d been something different about her.

Claire didn’t react, but her cheeks pinked, her fair skin always quick to betray her. “You think?”

Alex shrugged. She glanced out the window, pretending she wasn’t impressed. “Can’t believe Jody let you drive her truck,” she said to distract herself from staring.

“Kind of a one time thing. She was worried about you walking home, after, you know.”

“Yeah,” Alex said. Her good mood began to fade.

An awkward silence fell, and she could feel Claire’s eyes on her. She braced herself for the usual snide remark, but it didn’t come. “I’m sorry people are such pieces of shit,” Claire said instead. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she lied. “Those girls were never my friends, not really.”

“Yeah. Still sucks, though.” Claire hesitated, then said, “Hey, I have an idea. What do you say we stop and pick up some ice cream for dinner and watch stupid movies until our eyes bleed?”

Warmth blossomed in Alex’s chest. She looked at Claire, thinking, maybe this week wasn’t total shit after all. “Sold.”

~ * ~

“Seriously?” Alex eyed the DVD case with trepidation as Claire put the disk in the player.

“It’s supposed to be a classic or something,” Claire said. At Alex’s expression, she uttered the immortal words, “How bad can it be?”

They lasted about ten minutes. It felt like an eternity. Alex was the first to speak.

“Is it just me, or is this officially the worst movie you’ve ever seen?”

Claire said fervently, “Not just you.”

Five minutes later, it had only gotten worse. Alex was no film critic, but when the most likable character in your movie was a stuffed gopher, maybe it was time to rethink your career. “Oh, my God,” she said at last, unable to stand it any longer.

Claire jabbed the off button on the remote as if she were pulling the trigger on a vicious monster. “I surrender,” she agreed.

Both girls sank back in relief, the quiet of the house a welcome respite. “Note to self: never trust Dean Winchester again,” said Claire.

“Second that. Not when it comes to movies, at least.”

“Not when it comes to anything involving taste,” Claire amended.

“Amen.”

Alex looked over at Claire, the sudden quiet getting the better of her. It wasn’t fair, she thought. Hair in two messy braids, face torn up, wearing ripped jeans, motorcycle boots and an old frayed T-shirt, Claire still looked like she’d stepped off a movie set.

“What?” Claire demanded. For once, she sounded more curious than confrontational.

Alex let herself look her fill. Maybe it was a bad idea, but she was starting to think she wasn’t the only one who’d been fronting a little too hard.

“Seriously,” Claire said, her voice low. She glanced down, spreading her hands against her thighs. “What.” The color had risen in her face again.

“Nothing.” Alex’s stomach fluttered. What the hell was she doing?

“Nothing?” Claire repeated, and the careful way she said it seemed heavy with a whole world of possibility.

Claire looked at her then, and Alex felt it down to her core. Jody wouldn’t be home for at least a couple of hours. Claire already ostensibly hated her; what did she have to lose?

“Okay, I know this is probably weird, but—“

Claire leaned forward before she could finish and kissed her. Alex sucked in a breath. Without meaning to, she reached up and slid her fingers into Claire’s hair. It was thick and soft, the braids tugging as she surged up and met Claire’s kiss with her own. Claire tasted sweet, like peppermint candy. The metallic hint of blood reminded Alex to be careful, so she made herself relax and let Claire do what she wanted.

“Is this okay?” Claire said when they broke apart. Her thigh pressed against Alex’s, her eyes wide and very blue. She was breathing hard.

It struck Alex that, for once, she was the experienced one, even if she’d never actually had sex. “So far, so good,” she said. She searched Claire’s face. Then she leaned in, and they kissed some more. Alex put her hand on Claire’s thigh. Her heart felt like it might beat itself out of her chest, and a hum of pleasure kindled in her belly and between her legs, way more intense than anything she’d felt with Henry. The whole thing felt unreal, the heat of Claire’s body against hers, the frisson of forbidden fruit. She was supposed to be a good girl, a normal girl. But the images in her head, the things she wanted to do to Claire—she’d never thought about Henry that way.

Claire’s fingers were warm against Alex’s throat. She broke away. As if she’d read Alex’s mind, she said, “I thought you liked guys.”

Alex fought to keep her breathing level. “I liked being normal. At least, I thought I did.”

“But you know there’s no such thing.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not an idiot.”

Claire smiled a little, her lips red from their kissing. “Never said you were.”

“Tell me the truth.” Alex slid her hand under the edge of Claire’s shirt, touching her at the waist. “You ever done this before?”

“What? Kissing?” Claire scoffed.

“Kissing a girl. Touching a girl.” Alex swallowed. “Any of it.”

“Honestly? Not really. But I’ve thought about it.”

“Yeah?” Alex spread her fingers against Claire’s ribs, touching the underwire of her bra. Claire shivered. “You’ve thought about it?”

Claire closed her eyes and ducked her head into Alex’s neck, her lips hot behind Alex’s ear. “I think about it all the time.”

Alex pulled Claire’s hand between her legs, pressing Claire’s fingers into her through her jeans and pushing her hips upward. She swallowed hard, aching. She’d only masturbated to orgasm a couple of times, but this was way different—way more intense.

“You’re so hot,” Claire breathed into her neck. “Jesus.” Claire sucked in a breath when she said that, as if the blasphemy were as much of a turn on as anything.

It made Alex feel suddenly protective, as if she were older, and not the other way around. She liked the feeling.

“You trust me?” she asked, trying not to think about how many others had trusted her in the past and died for it.

“I take it back,” Claire said, and kissed her as if her life depended on it, slipping a hand under Alex’s sports bra without warning and cupping her breast, her hand both hot and gentle, her thumb sweet as hell against Alex’s nipple. “You are an idiot.”

~ * ~

“I thought you hated me,” Alex said afterward. They lay on Claire’s bed, the fading light of early evening all around. Alex’s body hummed with contentment.

“Hate is a strong word,” said Claire. “I barely even disliked you.” She traced patterns on Alex’s belly with her fingertips.

Alex closed her eyes, smiling despite herself. “Oh, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

The shadows grew longer. Alex listened for the sound of Jody coming home, planning her escape across the hall.

“Are we gonna tell Jody?” Claire asked, reading her mind again.

“She’s gonna know, whether we tell her or not.”

Claire sighed, unable to argue with that. “Not tonight, though,” she said.

“Not tonight,” Alex agreed. A spark kindled in her belly. This didn’t feel like a one-time thing, and from the sound of things, Claire was with her on that. Her pulse fluttered unevenly.

“What?” said Claire.

“Hm?”

“You got tense all of a sudden. You worried Jody’ll freak?”

She hadn’t even realized she’d tensed up. “No, it’s not that.”

“So, what, then?”

Alex’s face warmed. “You’ll think it’s stupid.” She couldn’t help it, though. Ever since the other night, Alex felt this need to protect her. Jody, too. Maybe it was the way she’d been brought up, or maybe it was just her nature.

“Just say it,” Claire told her.

Alex drew a deep breath. “It’s just, you know I can’t be like you and Jody. The whole hunting thing.”

“Yeah. Got it.”

“And I get that you have to, but—“

Claire propped herself up on one elbow so she could see Alex’s face in the fading light. When she did, the wound on her neck showed dark and bruised against her pale skin. “But, what?”

“But do you have to be so dumb about it?” The words rushed out before Alex could stop them.

To her surprise, Claire huffed a laugh. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Nice way to thank the girl who saved your life, Alex. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” She made herself look away from the marks.

Claire shrugged, her expression wry. She toyed with her stuffed cat, eyes down. “It’s okay. I deserve it.”

“Seriously, that came out wrong.” Claire met her gaze. Alex tried, “I like having you around, that’s all.”

“Yeah?”

Alex reached for Claire’s hand, slipping her fingers in between. “Yeah. And hunting alone is a good way to get yourself dead.”

Claire’s fingers tightened on hers. “Believe me, if I’ve learned one thing this week, it’s that I’m gonna need a hell of a lot more training before I head out on my own.”

Alex breathed out. She swallowed in sudden relief. “Yeah, well. Glad to hear it.”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Okay, Grandma. I promise, I’ll wear my big girl panties and take a buddy with me when I go hunting monsters.”

Alex poked her in the ribs, making her flinch. “Hey, at least you know what you want to do with your life.”

She said it like it was a joke, but Claire regarded her seriously. She rested her fingers against Alex’s sternum, then traced the swell of her breast above the gray fabric of her bra.

“Can I tell you something?”

Alex’s pulse sped up, goose bumps spreading over her ribs at Claire’s touch. “What?” she managed.

“Jody said something to me a couple of months ago. About you. She said, helping you helped her work through her grief over her family.”

“Really?”

Claire nodded. Her hand weighed against Alex’s heartbeat for a second, then lifted as she gestured. “I mean, I know you want to get away from all this. Lead a normal life, whatever the hell that is. But maybe you could do that and still help people like us.”

“What do you mean?”

“People like me and Jody. Like the Winchesters. People who’ve been through crap they can’t explain. People who’ve lost everything, like you and me. Those people need help, too, right?”

Alex blinked and digested that. “So, like, some kind of supernatural psychiatrist?”

“Yeah, sure, if you want to call it that. God knows we could use one.”

Alex frowned at her, trying to get her head around it. “Yeah, but I mean, me? I’m probably more messed up than all of you put together.”

“Exactly. Who’s more qualified?” At that, Alex had to laugh. “Besides,” Claire said. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. I saw what you did for us back there. I won’t ever forget it.”

They fell quiet, both remembering those few minutes in the pool house, Alex’s willingness to bargain her life for Jody and Claire, and Claire’s first real kill. All the ways in which they’d changed in those few minutes.

“Tell you what,” said Alex, reaching up to brush stray hairs out of Claire’s face. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

“I’ll think about it. On one condition.”

“Oh, yeah?” said Claire, eyebrow arched. “And what’s that?”


“When I start college, you come with me,” Alex said in a rush. “Pick something. Medieval weaponry. Middle Eastern mythology. Bible studies, for all I care. Just come with me.”

Claire ducked her head. “Don’t know if you’ve noticed,” she said, “but I kind of suck at school.”

“So what?” Alex told her. Now that she’d said it, she wasn’t taking it back. “Those are my terms. You in?”

Claire sighed and flopped down, tucking her face in against Alex’s neck and throwing an arm over her stomach. “Whatever,” she said. “Sure. Jody’s probably going to kill us first, anyway.”

Alex held her close, not bothering to argue. She closed her eyes even as she warned herself not to fall asleep. Then Claire snorted a soft laugh.

“Worst movie ever.”

Alex groaned. “Oh, my God, yes.”



end