Another person with a vested interest in Sam having deep physio-psychological masochistic needs? HELLO YES I HAVE SOME MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS.
I know that a lot of folks headcanon Dean as more submissive than Sam in intimate interactions, but I think it's much more complicated than that. They've both been subjected to intense injuries (...and deaths...) but Dean has been consistently coded with sadistic undertones (e.g. torturing in Hell, the "purity" of Purgatory, the effect of the Mark of Cain, Dean as a demon, etc.). Not that he is an abusive sadist, just that there is potentiality there that can--under the right circumstances--be exploited and/or unleashed.
Conversely, Sam has most frequently been coded as a recipient of and for pain. From his painful psychic visions to his possession and torture in the Cage to his post-Hell-Wall descent into insanity to the effect of the Trials and his possession by (and exorcism of) Gadreel--the list just keeps on going (and if there ever was an episode that crystallized it, it was Red Meat). That probably has a lot to do with how his control and consent issues manifest too, but that's another fic entirely.
Anywho, that was where this story was born. Sam's need (not necessarily desire) for pain and Dean's capacity for inflicting it and then the ways they may try to navigate it in order to give them some of what they both need and want.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your thoughts here, and I'm so happy that this piece made an impression on you! ❤
P.S. If you ever feel like delving into more of these headcanons, I would be ALL ABOUT IT.
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I know that a lot of folks headcanon Dean as more submissive than Sam in intimate interactions, but I think it's much more complicated than that. They've both been subjected to intense injuries (...and deaths...) but Dean has been consistently coded with sadistic undertones (e.g. torturing in Hell, the "purity" of Purgatory, the effect of the Mark of Cain, Dean as a demon, etc.). Not that he is an abusive sadist, just that there is potentiality there that can--under the right circumstances--be exploited and/or unleashed.
Conversely, Sam has most frequently been coded as a recipient of and for pain. From his painful psychic visions to his possession and torture in the Cage to his post-Hell-Wall descent into insanity to the effect of the Trials and his possession by (and exorcism of) Gadreel--the list just keeps on going (and if there ever was an episode that crystallized it, it was Red Meat). That probably has a lot to do with how his control and consent issues manifest too, but that's another fic entirely.
Anywho, that was where this story was born. Sam's need (not necessarily desire) for pain and Dean's capacity for inflicting it and then the ways they may try to navigate it in order to give them some of what they both need and want.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your thoughts here, and I'm so happy that this piece made an impression on you! ❤
P.S. If you ever feel like delving into more of these headcanons, I would be ALL ABOUT IT.