the age of miracles by [livejournal.com profile] de_nugis for <user site="livejournal.com

Mar. 21st, 2015 09:24 am
[identity profile] springflingmod.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] spn_springfling
Title: the age of miracles
Pairing: Jody and Sam gen
Rating: PG-13
Any warnings: none

It’s bonding, walking into a trap with someone. The bond of stupid, maybe. Not that this was a very good trap. Seems like a lot of monsters aren’t much smarter than your average dumb kid in Sioux Falls. Jody went in the front door, Sam went round the back. That was apparently more strategy than those idiot vamps were expecting.

“You OK?” says Sam.

Jody’s heart is pounding with the familiar, fading, on-the-job adrenaline, but under that’s the real fear. They went after Alex. That fear. It’s familiar, at least. She’d better hope that fear will be a part of her now till she dies, because the alternative is the thing that’s worse. There’s nothing worse than not having to be afraid for your kid any more. Jody learned that twice over.

“Not a scratch,” she says. She’d taken out one, Sam the other, like clockwork. “You know me, Sam. Sheriff by day, slayer of douche vamps by night. All part of the job.”

Douche kid vamps, this time. Kids who’d caught sight of the scars on Alex’s neck and thought it might be cool to have a blood slave like the big shots. They were sick shits and Jody doesn’t regret killing them, not one bit, but they used to be kids. She’ll think about it, the kids they used to be, this Sunday at church. She owes them that much.

“Got time for dinner?” she asks Sam. “Alex is at Donna’s till tomorrow. And I make a mean bowl of chowder.”

“You don’t have to,” says Sam.

“You do backup, you get dinner,” says Jody. “It’s part of being a good sheriff. People pull extra shifts, I order in.”

“I, yeah, thanks,” says Sam, “Dinner sounds good. But then I’ve got to get going.”

Sam’s said a whole load of not much about why Dean’s not along this time. If something’s wrong there then maybe dinner will give him a chance to talk. But he pushes the conversation away every time it comes near him.

“Things are going OK, then, with Alex?” he asks, “apart from fanged wannabes?”

Jody looks around the kitchen. Knowing Alex is safe from those creeps, that she can come home, that’s great. Knowing that Alex trusted her enough to tell her what was going on, that’s better. Having a night off parenting a teenager, that’s also not bad.

“It sucks, Sam. It totally sucks. She won’t rinse dishes. She hates The Great Gatsby, and she can’t just hate it, no, that’s not dramatic enough. She has to flunk her essay on it like it’s some kind of gesture. Two hours past her curfew she can’t be bothered pick up her phone, but when I’m at work trying to do my damn job it’s three calls in half an hour. She orders olives on pizza and then just picks them off. It sucks.”

Sam smiles. “So, normal,” he says.

“As normal as we’re going to get,” says Jody. “I’ve seen stuff, Sam. And I’m not talking monster stuff, your deal, I’m talking all in a day’s work. Raped kids. Wives who know how to laugh when the shitstain who hit them jokes how clumsy they were to walk into that door. I’m a mess. Alex is a mess. I got no illusions about us. But I’ve seen enough to appreciate what a goddamn miracle that is.”

“That’s good,” says Sam. “You’re lucky. Alex is lucky. It’s good things are working out.”

Jody looks at Sam’s hands on the table, loose around his beer. Big, competent hands. Hands that pulled the trigger on Owen. It’s funny how comfortable she is around him, a kind of intimacy that goes back to that act of horrific, necessary kindness.

“I guess you had your own goddamn miracle,” she says, “getting Dean back.” She leaves that hanging out there. Maybe now he’s fed Sam will take the hook.

“We’ve got a bible story’s worth of miracles,” he says. “That’s our problem. That’s always our fucking problem.” He sounds tired. Jody reaches across the table and squeezes his arm.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she says.

“Depends on the miracle,” Sam says, “or the bible story.” Then his mouth shuts like a trap. That’s it. He’s not going to tell her more than that.

The wrong kind of miracle can mess you up good. Jody learned that, right enough, when Owen came back. Though she’s not so sure, she’s not sure how well she’s learned. Nothing, not even Owen’s mouth smeared with Sean’s blood, nothing can undo the joy when she’d seen him again, all muddy, like he’d been playing. She can’t ever unfeel that. She can’t chew off part of her mind to get out of that trap. Offer her that miracle again and she’d probably take it. Even now, doing a good day’s work, being grateful, having Alex, she’d probably take it, let a corpse in her door.

Just one of that kind of miracle did a number on her. A few more and she’d never have have got back to this mess of a life that’s saving her and Alex, failure by half-assed victory by flunked essay by grudging phone call. Sam and Dean have something special. Jody used to envy them that, having something right there to hang onto. She still does, a little. But she’s starting to get that she’s the lucky one here.

Sam’s standing up, taking the dishes to the sink, rinsing them, loading the dishwasher.

“You know you can stay,” says Jody, “take a break. I’ve got a couch. Dean can survive twelve more hours without you.”

Sam shakes his head, feeling in his pocket for his car keys. Jody realizes he never took his jacket off, even eating.

“Thanks,” he says, “thanks for the chowder. It was great. But I’ve got to go.”

Jody walks him to the door.

“Call, Sam,” she says, “or I’ll call you, want it or not. You’ve got help if you need it. Maybe if miracles aren’t working out for you you should try some plain human backup.”

Sam hugs her and steps back.

“Forget I said anything,” he says. “We’re fine. We’ll be fine. We’ll figure something out. We always do. Dean, Dean’ll come through. I’ve just got to come through for him. Have faith, right?”

He gets into the car without waiting for an answer. Jody watches his taillights disappear down the road. She’s got enough saving on her hands, decapitating creep vamps and fighting the good nutrition fight for whole wheat toast instead of Pop Tarts. Sam’s not her kid. Him and Dean are grown-ass adults. She still wants to beat it into Sam’s head. Faith’s not about going blindfold into the trap. It’s about taking backup.

Date: 2015-03-21 04:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sophiap.livejournal.com
Platonic Sam-Jody is one of my favorite things, and I love how you wrote them both here.

Date: 2015-03-21 04:42 pm (UTC)
frozen_delight: (jody)
From: [personal profile] frozen_delight
Gosh, this fic was everything I ever wanted and more! I love Sam and Jody's friendship, and it was so lovely that you gave them a chance to talk a little about their current situations, in a very quiet, everyday sort of way, which still managed to be full of great lines. Such as:

“It sucks, Sam. It totally sucks. She won’t rinse dishes. She hates The Great Gatsby, and she can’t just hate it, no, that’s not dramatic enough. She has to flunk her essay on it like it’s some kind of gesture. Two hours past her curfew she can’t be bothered pick up her phone, but when I’m at work trying to do my damn job it’s three calls in half an hour. She orders olives on pizza and then just picks them off. It sucks.”

“We’ve got a bible story’s worth of miracles,” he says. “That’s our problem. That’s always our fucking problem.”

All the kudos in the world to you, dear mystery author, for creating something so fabulous!

Date: 2015-03-21 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quickreaver.livejournal.com
Ahhhh, Sam and Jody, one of my favorite dynamics. Sometimes I think Jody is the only friend he has, apart from maybe Cas. This was nice!

Date: 2015-03-21 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marciaelena.livejournal.com
I love how simple this seems on the surface, and how full of meaning it actually is. Sam and Jody always captivate me and they both sound so true here. Sam trying to reassure himself that everything's going to be okay with Dean made my heart ache.
Edited Date: 2015-03-21 08:07 pm (UTC)

Date: 2015-03-21 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tipsy-kitty.livejournal.com
Lovely and heart-achey!

Date: 2015-03-22 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vyperdd.livejournal.com
Oh that was lovely and so sad. Also very much true to their characters. This could easily have been a deleted scene from the show.

My heart breaks for Sam. Even with such a wonderful and understanding friend as Jody offering him support, he still needs to keep it all buried, to not unload his problems, worries and fears onto anyone else. God!!! Just let her in, Sam. You both need and deserve someone to take care of you for a change.

Date: 2015-03-22 09:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyryk.livejournal.com
Beautiful! Such great voices, so true to them. Sam's reticence, Jody being strong and remembering the past. Just lovely.

Date: 2015-03-22 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stripytights.livejournal.com
I think your Jody is lovely here. She's got that same show edge of tempering insight with a joke and a dry sense of humour, and it's pretty heartbreaking to see Sam from her perspective. It really works as a glimpse into both their lives and motivations.

Date: 2015-03-23 02:58 pm (UTC)
colls: (SPN Jody Mills)
From: [personal profile] colls
OMG.

OMG.

This is stunningly perfect!! I adore how supportive Jody is of Sam (and Dean) and how realistic she is about Alex and how she's badass with the vamps but it still kind of leaves her a little shaky b/c damnit she's human. I particularly love her POV about Sam and Dean and how she knows it's something special but isn't envious because she sees how painful it is for them.

Anon author, I adore everything about this!!!!!! THANK YOU :D :D :D :D

Date: 2015-03-23 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deirdre-c.livejournal.com
I love Sam and Jody's relationship, and you do such a nice job with it here. <333

Date: 2015-03-23 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killabeez.livejournal.com
I would give away many worldly possessions to see this on the show. Utterly perfect!

Date: 2015-03-23 08:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] road-rhythm.livejournal.com
She’d better hope that fear will be a part of her now till she dies, because the alternative is the thing that’s worse. There’s nothing worse than not having to be afraid for your kid any more. Jody learned that twice over.

Holy ow. Oh, God, Jody. She is such a fantastic narrator, here--bringing all the nuances and stupid little bits of realism into the 'verse that make it work, from the kindness and optimism that don't happen automatically but are worked for (and the more valuable for it), to the real-world horrors that she's dealt with all her life, to the goddamned olives on the pizzas and I just. Jody.

It’s funny how comfortable she is around him, a kind of intimacy that goes back to that act of horrific, necessary kindness.

JODY

She can’t chew off part of her mind to get out of that trap.

JODY

“We’ve got a bible story’s worth of miracles,” he says. “That’s our problem...." The wrong kind of miracle can mess you up good.... Just one of that kind of miracle did a number on her.

Augh, this is so perfect for both of them that it hurts. And Sam--pulling back from people, the way he quietly and systematically has been since 05x01, pulling back so far that at this point, he's pulled way the hell back from himself, so far back he's apparently convinced himself it doesn't matter if he never gets a even an insincere apology for being held down for barely metaphorical rape and then gaslit about it, because he's just so damned tired.

“Call, Sam,” she says, “or I’ll call you, want it or not. You’ve got help if you need it. Maybe if miracles aren’t working out for you you should try some plain human backup.”

And Jody cares, or would like to care, but Sam won't let her, because his protocol is to recede so far people won't notice when he's not there.

Faith’s not about going blindfold into the trap. It’s about taking backup.

Perfect ending is perfect and amazing.

Date: 2015-03-24 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
A beautiful fic - sad and perfectly quiet.

I loved how you captured and developed Jody's friendship with Sam; Sam pushing Jody away, and Jody offering support where she can. I also enjoyed the snippets you included and about her relationship with Alex, I sure hope to see her again on Show.

Thank you for sharing, this was a lovely read :)

Date: 2015-03-24 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fiercelynormal.livejournal.com
Oh, this was so well written. I really love how you've captured Jody's voice, she sounds so real. And the glimpse of her life with Alex is wonderful. Great job!

Date: 2015-03-25 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] balder12.livejournal.com
You have a great Jody voice--I really liked the wry humor and simple domesticity of the details of her life with Alex, and her compassion for Sam shines through, even if he's not ready to receive it. Her continued grief over her son felt very real, and played nicely into the Winchesters' history of unfortunate resurrections.

Date: 2015-03-25 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivory-angel99.livejournal.com
Love love love the Sam and Jody bonding. We need more of this on the show like we need air.

Date: 2015-03-27 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tifaching.livejournal.com
This was basically perfect. I love Sam and Jody.

Faith’s not about going blindfold into the trap. It’s about taking backup.

Gorgeous and so true.

Date: 2015-03-29 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Ah, I love Jody and Alex here - a relationship that definitely needs to be explored further in canon - and Jody and Sam of course. I love how perceptive Jody is and her slow realization that she might be the lucky one. All the tiny details of this make it such an excellent read.

Date: 2015-03-31 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fireheart13.livejournal.com
This was so lovely - Jody's warmth, Sam's loneliness and stifled pain.

Date: 2015-04-01 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dollarformyname.livejournal.com
I love this so much! Just ... yeah.
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