spn_springfling | Finding a throat to choke by oddishly for <user site="livejourn

Title: Finding a throat to choke
Pairing: Sam/Ruby
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: suicide ideation

Sam decides not to die. It takes him a while to be sure, but Earth is his territory: it has libraries, the Internet, cellphones, familiar streets and hideouts. Leaving all that behind would be putting himself at a disadvantage. Sam doesn't have time for that kind of setback if he's going to get Dean back.

Besides, Hell is a big place. Who knows where Dean ended up, and if Sam would ever find him.

He startles awake before dawn, a trio of yowling cats in the street below his room.

"Told you we shouldn't stay here," says Ruby in his ear, and he jumps again. She curls her lip as she looks at him through the dark. "Morning."

"Leave, if you don't like it," says Sam, and turns away in the bed. "I won't miss you." Things are bad, but it hasn't yet reached the stage where he prefers the company of a demon over being alone.

"Fine," says Ruby after a pause.

This time she gets her hand on the doorknob before Sam blurts, "Wait --" and brings her back to bed. Ruby curls herself up around Sam's back, her body cold with the morning. He allows it, disgusted with himself.

"Sam, relax," says Ruby. She tightens her arm around his waist and smooths her palm down his chest. "Or at least save it for daylight hours."

Sam hasn't slept through the night in months. "Sorry," he says. "Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. Got a lot to do today."

She sighs. "Sam," she says again. The only person who says Sam's name this often is Dean. "It's okay that you're finding this hard. But you have to keep your strength up. You're not Superman, and if you were you'd have -- been killed by one of your hunter friends already." She scrunches her fingers on his chest, digging her fingernails in a little. Her voice takes a sly turn and she brushes his nipple with her thumb. "And that would be a shame."

Sam turns over, the mattress squeaking with him. "Seriously?"

Ruby trails her fingers over her stomach in response. She's wearing a yellow lace bra and nothing else, and Sam tries to focus on her face. He's trying to see Ruby, not just a broken meatsuit, because who knows how Dean will come back.

"Hey," says Ruby. Somewhere in Sam's little revery, she lost the bra as well. Sam looks. "You with me?"

"Yeah," he says, and swings her up on top of him. Her body is neat and gorgeous, legs tight on either side of him, and in the dark, mirrored ceiling, all he can really make out is her dark hair and pale skin. Sam pays close attention as she bends and bites her way down his neck and chest. If he watches long enough he's going to catch her demon form in the glass, when she's asleep or in pain, or fucking him hard enough to take them both to the edge of Hell. Sam doesn't want to miss Dean when he sees him again, so this is practice.

"Where do you think they've got him?" asks Sam as she bites her way down. Her hair drags behind her. This is normal sex talk. "Which circle?"

"It's just a very long, wordy story, Sam. In Italian."

"Humor me," says Sam. "I'm sure you've read it."

Ruby pauses just below his navel and hmms. "Dealing with a crossroads demon," she says, "puts him in about the third circle."

Third. Sam frowns. "But --"

"But in exchange for another soul," continues Ruby, sliding lower and breathing hotly against his cock, "fifth. Heretic, that's six by default. A Winchester, nothing less than eight." She curls her tongue around the tip and murmurs, "The inner eight." She licks. "And survived by his desperate," lick, "reckless," lick, "powerful little brother, well --" she takes his cock in hand and squeezes, brushing her thumb over the head and putting her mouth to the length as Sam feels himself getting sickeningly harder, "I expect he's been dreaming in nine shades of vermilion since he landed there, because that's where they'd like to see you, too." She swallows him down, digging her fingers into his hips to tell him to fuck her mouth. He thrusts in, staring at the reflection above, then shutting his eyes to listen to her go down with wet, slow sucking noises. He puts his hands in her hair and grips lightly, enjoying her mouth on him, short seconds where he doesn't have to think about anything more than that.

Ruby widens her mouth to take him deeper and Sam opens his eyes to look at her, all at once wanting to come and desperate not to. "I--" Ruby's eyes flicker to a different color and Sam chokes, images shooting through his mind as he comes, clenching his fingers in her hair and holding her mouth on his dick while he bucks and arches through it.

"Told you we needed this room," says Sam once he feels like speaking again. He nods at the mirror that sometimes lets him pretend. "Big fan of this."

Ruby gives him a smile that tells him not to treat her like a child. She says, "You can't go down there. There's no way back from Hell."

"Not planning on going to Hell," says Sam. He's not making any promises, though. "Not much good to my brother if we're both there." He tugs Ruby up his body, reaching between her legs as she slides on up. His fingers come away wet from her cunt and he licks them slowly for her approval. Dean would be proud.

"Good," says Ruby, this time wearing a real smile. She feels nice, warm, someone close who doesn't care if Sam lives or dies and happy to lie with him like this anyway. Sam dips two fingers inside of her this time, pushing up to the knuckle and then deeper. Ruby moans.

So Sam continues, waiting for daylight.