Big Damn Hero by [livejournal.com profile] glovered for <user site="livejournal.com" user

Jun. 13th, 2012 01:50 pm
[identity profile] springflingmod.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] spn_springfling
Title: Big Damn Hero
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Any warnings: None listed

Summary: Dean is back from Purgatory and his clothes are too tight and Sam's acting bizarre. It isn't an issue until it is.

Written by [livejournal.com profile] glovered for [livejournal.com profile] lemanya!



Of course the first job back is shaping up to be a disaster, and not because Dean is off his game. No, it is precisely because he spent the last four months battling monsters in a very medieval sort of way in the forests and marshes of Purgatory that is the problem; he is way too built now, so his suit is tighter than it should be.

He tugs at his pants a little, adjusting the way they stretch across his thighs. Jesus, they haven't even left the motel room yet.

But if the only repercussion of his time away is being an action figure like Sam, Dean isn't going to complain. And it's not too noticeable, just noticeable in that he has to give up on the suit jacket, which stretches across his shoulders too tightly for complete ease of movement should something attack. He settles on rolling his shirt sleeves to the elbow. His arms feel constricted but not uncomfortable.

When he opens the bathroom door, Sam is leaning against the wall next to it, which means Dean has to steel himself against his own brother for a second, which in turn makes him pissed, regretful.

He rolls his eyes and moves past, and Sam, predictably, follows. "You sure you want to...."

"Yes," Dean says, "For the last time, Sam. I can handle a boring job."

"No, I got it." Sam grabs his jacket and a folder. "Just doubting your acting skills."

"Dude, you probably don't remember, but I am an amazing actor. This shit's Emmy-worthy."

Only after a second does Dean note what he's said. Fucking time paradox. To him it was months, but to Sam it was five minutes. Less, maybe. Sam's eyes skitter away.

"You can be the lawyer if you want," he tells Dean a minute later, after Dean's pulled on his shoes, guiltily. "Your pants are really tight."

"Shut up."

"No, I mean, you look like more of a douchebag."

Dean stands. Sam is smirking. Dean's missed this, wanting to hit Sam and kiss him. A lot is asked of him.

"Get the damn car, Sam."

Sam is driving, which is annoying but just as well. It is a junker. Baby is parked five miles away in a copse of trees off the highway for when Dean has time to look her over. He'd been in Purgatory long enough to realize that one should not waste one's life settling for less.




In the interrogation room, Dean slams a first onto the tabletop and Mr. John Larsen nearly jumps clean out of his skin — which is possible, if you're dealing with skinwalkers, which, incidentally, Dean has been for months. They rove in packs there.

Not today, though, here, on Earth. Missouri City PD's purported serial killer is one-hundred percent human, flesh and blood, a real mainstream guy who probably doesn't even believe in ghosts.

"Ghosts?" the guy wibbles. "What the hell are you talking about." But Larsen's eyes don't meet his. Oh, really?

"You apparently believe in burning down people's houses, though," Dean says.

"N-no, " Larsen is quivering like a leaf. Dean doesn't want fear, though, he wants Larsen to stand up to him, tell Dean what really happened, crazy as it sounds, or ask for a lawyer.

"All this is going on the record," Dean says. "Everything you say can be used against you in a court of law."

It's heavy-handed, but works.

Larsen raises his chin, even if he balks a little when Dean clenches his jaw. "I'd like to speak to a state-assigned lawyer. I have rights?"
Dean stands. "Yeah, sure you do."

He steps out of the room, door clicking shut behind him. Sam is just outside, leaning along the wall, watching the proceedings through the one-way mirror.

"You're up," says Dean.

Sam idles, hand one pocket of his slacks. "We'll give it a second."

"All right." Dean looks him over one, out of the corner of his eye, too stupidly greedy at the sight of his brother these days. Sam's here, for real. He looks like a real lawyer ready to talk to the condemned, but the detached asshole kind, not the kind he'd probably expected to end up as. He's sipping at a cup of coffee with two creams, hair combed back and, when Dean looks up, is examining Dean's face, too. Sam opens his mouth to speak, say something cheesy maybe.

Dean cuts him off. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing."

"What am I doing?"

You're trying to ask me if I'm okay, Dean wants to say, you want me to cry and let you put me back together but that's not how this works. Never has, never will.

When Dean doesn't speak, lets it hang, Sam pushes past him, handing off his coffee. Dean feels a congruent swoop in his gut.

Sam heads in and he and Larsen shake hands, Dean watches this all through the glass, as Sam hikes a chair up to the table and leans forward, earnestly, born to deceive or just grown into it. A natural.

Dean takes a sip of coffee and then feels uncertain about the contents. He can do without the cream, and the sugar's far too rich. He's been eating charred to rare meat for the last however long and some things just don't sit right after that. It's normal.

Dean tugs on the material of his slacks again, too tight, watching Sam. He hadn't meant to leave him. He agonized about that forever. And one night, while holding a wendigo shank, blackened from a damp campfire that kept threatening to flicker out, Dean had finally come to terms with how in love with Sam he was. A guy is honest with himself sometimes, especially in the dark and especially on the brink of death. Honesty, it happens. But here, back in the real world and standing on this side of the glass watching, Sam looks just the same. He's Dean's. It sloshes around in Dean's chest, makes him feel paralyzed.

Dean realizes he's standing so close his breath is fogging up the glass. He looks both ways down the hall, but it's empty. No one there to see the smile, how Dean is tentatively happy, even if he is a creep. This whole thing is funny.

He watches while Sam talks smoothly with Larsen, who tells him exactly what happened, relief on his face. It is painless, Larsen spilling out a story in quiet tones. It was a spirit then, good.

As if on cue, there's a sudden commotion down the hall, the ruckus of officers realizing their wanted man's gotten loose. Dean raps on the glass and Sam looks up, seems to see right through the mirror Dean is almost tricked into believing. Sam says a few words to Larsen, whose eyes are almost brimming with tears of gratitude. Sam gets up and leaves him there for the police to find.

Dean jerks his chin. "Gotta book it."

They make it down the hall and around the corner at an exhilarating stride, thinking act normal. They're down the hall in twenty seconds, out into the lobby in a minute, all smooth marble floors of the offices of the law.

When they're to the front steps, outside, Sam shucks the jacket and slings it over a shoulder. Hot stuff. Dean fumbles his sunglasses that he's got hooked in the V of his button-down. He picked them up for eleven dollars at a Gas 'n Save two days ago. Sun stripping him raw, the upended nausea of being. He notices Sam's steps are matching his one for one and it suddenly freaks him out on a deep-seated level, in a flash, and he has to actively remember Sam's not something unknown, hunting him, trying to be quiet and about it. Sam deserves better than this.

If Sam notices Dean's jumpy, he doesn't say anything. He does, however, put a hand on Dean's shoulder as they pass to the car. Smiles at him when Dean looks up. It isn't normal. It's freaking Dean out. Freaking him out but grounds him, too, that pressure inside his head suddenly waved away. His heart picks up further.

"Food?" Sam asks, still smiling all benevolent while Dean's stomach is doing backflips.

"Nah, we've got some stuff back at the motel."

Sam shrugs. "All right."




They don't have much back at the motel. Road food is out, because it's just a week after Dick was killed and the corn syrup is still tainted. And vegetables make Dean's skin crawl. There're a couple bags of beef jerky on the table, though. He throws himself onto a bed, hand already in the bag. He'll live on beef jerky. And beer. That sounds good.

He puts his head onto the pillow, eyes closed for a second. When he looks up, Sam's scissoring the slats of blinds apart to look out into the parking lot. He salts the windows for good measure while Dean watches. Until Dean gets more pushed into the pillows, closes his eyes, piece of beef jerky in his mouth.

"Dean?"

"I'm fine, Sam." The argument slightly muffled and ultimately undermined by the pillow he has over his face.

"No, I know." He feels the mattress dip and Sam's leaning up against Dean's bent knee. Different.

Dean doesn't say what he's thinking. Instead he says, "We'll head out to the house at midnight or something. I'm gonna pass out for a while."

"Right." Sam sits there. The seconds tick by. Sam asks, "You ever heard the term 'the lady doth protest too much'?"

Dean opens his eyes just to narrow them. "Yes."

Sam shrugs.

"Don't try to trick it out of me," Dean tells him. "I saw you with that dude, I know your tricks. You can't lawyer me."

"I'm not," Sam tells him. He tries to look mean. "In fact, I don't even care if you're fine."

Dean snorts. "Liar."

Sam mutters, "Yeah, well, I'm too pissed to care."

"Huh?"

Sam puts a hand to Dean's knee, almost tentatively, looking, yeah, pissed. some that flash of something dangerous rolls through Dean's gut. Hope, some kind of sickness.

"Okay," he says, drawing it out. He rolls off the bed to his feet. "Shower."

He makes it there, but Sam catches the door. Dean turns, about to tell Sam to back off about this, ready for a fight, but suddenly Sam's standing at his full height.

"No. Keep it open."

"Man doesn't shower for five months, he deserves as many fucking showers as he wants."

"Dean."

Dean rolls his eyes but tamps down on whatever next comment when Sam looms more.

"Look," Dean says, feeling that guilt rack up again. He left Sam. He hadn't meant to. It's eating him alive, maybe. "I get you're pissed. You've been looking at me all weird since I got back, I knew something was going on, but..."

"Five worst minutes of my life," Sam tells him.

"Huh?"

"Prayed to god to bring you back." Dean gets backed against the sink, Sam saying, "Told myself I'd do anything, that I'd....Then you get back, looking like that."

"Sam, dude." He has his hand on Sam's chest accidentally on purpose because the kid's just right there.

Sam leans in. "And your pants are too tight."

Dean laughs, because it's Sam, but it's hot for the same reason.

Sam says, right up against his ear, "Believe me, I noticed. It's real fucked up, I know. Believe me I know, but I'm keeping you in sight. I blink and then you're gone."

Dean thinks, works for him. He grabs ahold of Sam's tie and jerks him so they're nose to nose, pulls him down to his level, which is almost a freaking foot because Dean had kicked his shoes by the bed and Sam is already a giant.

"That really what you're pissed about?" Dean asks. "Missed me?"

Sam's face breaks into a smile, which is adorable up close. "Yeah. So I'll just stand here while you shower if that's all right with you."

"Creep," Dean says, Sam's hands spanning his waist, everything right in the world.

The kiss is pretty much awesome.

Date: 2012-06-13 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oddishly.livejournal.com
AN ACTION FIGURE LIKE SAM

Dean realizes he's standing so close his breath is fogging up the glass. He looks both ways down the hall, but it's empty. No one there to see the smile, how Dean is tentatively happy, even if he is a creep. This whole thing is funny.

I love that moment so much. So much. You write such a lovely Dean; dead on with the hope/despondence ratio. ♥

Date: 2012-06-23 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Hope/Despondence ratio! That is the best way of putting ittt!

Date: 2012-06-13 02:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cassiopeia7.livejournal.com
Oh, I loved this. Such quietly lovely writing plus wonderful insight into post-Purgatory Dean and spot-on brotherly interaction. It would be the Best Thing Ever if Show took a page from you and went in this direction.

He notices Sam's steps are matching his one for one and it suddenly freaks him out on a deep-seated level, in a flash, and he has to actively remember Sam's not something unknown, hunting him, trying to be quiet and about it. Sam deserves better than this.
A terrific description of Dean's lingering PTSD, and really, this scene broke my heart.

. . . while you kinda grossed me out with this one:
one night, while holding a wendigo shank, blackened from a damp campfire that kept threatening to flicker out,
Did I misread, or was Dean eating Wendigo? D: He'd have to eat whatever he could, but . . . EW. ;)

And, of course, Dean has become "an action figure like Sam." Awesome.

Fantastic job, anon!author! \o/

Date: 2012-06-23 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
My favorite thing ever is watching for signs of PTSD. So subtle and awesome. I really hope they do it justice in s8!

Date: 2012-06-13 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roque-clasique.livejournal.com
Wow, this was so excellent -- pitch-perfect in thought and dialogue and so much fun to read.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
That's so nice to hear!

Date: 2012-06-13 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] akintay.livejournal.com
What a beautiful fic! I love the characterization and the progression - the kiss at the end was perfect ♥

Date: 2012-06-23 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
I'm glad you thought so ♥

Date: 2012-06-13 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cappy712.livejournal.com
That was something - so his suit was tight (mummmmm just the images okay I'm back). Thank you.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
No problem!

Date: 2012-06-13 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marciaelena.livejournal.com
Great characterizations and great writing. I loved this.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Thank youuu, M.

Date: 2012-06-13 05:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killabeez.livejournal.com
Okay, I could say eloquent things about the lovely subtleties of characterization, here, because I really enjoyed that aspect of it. Loved the details of Dean's reactions (the sunglasses!) and the fact that you managed to work a casefic into this. But mostly, I just want to say, HOT. Like burning. I want the visuals of this, so bad. I mean, Dean's body is beautiful anyway, but the image of his thighs stretching his suit pants?? Oh, poor Sammich.

The ending made my heart soar. I love Sam's hands at his waist, and Dean yanking him down by the tie, and Sam's, "Yeah. So I'll just stand here while you shower if that's all right with you." ♥! I love that line, so much. Just perfect.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Hello! I want Sam's hands at Dean's waist all the time, tbh. Thank you for this really nice comment.

Date: 2012-06-23 11:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killabeez.livejournal.com
I hope you don't mind me friending you. You seem like someone whose stuff I don't want to miss. :)

Date: 2012-06-23 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Not at all, it made me super happy!

Date: 2012-06-13 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silverraven.livejournal.com
This fic is pretty much awesome, I love it. Great job!

Date: 2012-06-23 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Thanks for the read!

Date: 2012-06-13 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bellevue.livejournal.com
This was great! I loved seeing the readjustments Dean was having to make after being back, and the boys' interactions were really well done; they can tell so much about the other without even needing those big talks about it. I gotta say I love the idea of "action figure" Dean, too! ;D

Date: 2012-06-23 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
I kind of wanted to capture how weird it is to come back to normal life after traveling, weird adjustments you have to make. Glad that came through!

Date: 2012-06-13 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maypoles.livejournal.com
This is SO EXCELLENT. Like, I think I'm going to re-read it right now. <3 Fabulous post-purgatory fic!

Date: 2012-06-23 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Thanks! I hope lots of people are writing post-purgatory fic!

Date: 2012-06-14 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callistosh65.livejournal.com
Great premise on how time passed for them here - and I love the idea of Dean coming back from purgatory built..*g* Your references to Dean's experiences there were just the right touch to be convincing of something truly different and deeply horrible.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
I'm very intrigued with bodies coming back from Heaven/Hell/Purgatory, and I don't know if this makes sense, but I liked the idea of him not fitting right in his own skin when he gets back.

Date: 2012-06-14 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zebra363.livejournal.com
Very nice. I like the part about cream and sugar tasting wrong to Dean after badly-cooked meat in Purgatory especially.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:15 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-14 11:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lemanya.livejournal.com
Ahh! I love you. This was absolutely wonderful.

And this line -> He left Sam. He hadn't meant to. It's eating him alive, maybe.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
I imagine he'd feel so guilty! Because, as [livejournal.com profile] oddishly very astutely pointed out, this is the first time they've left each other accidentally! Arg, my heart. Anyway, thanks for the fun prompt! It was really fun to write this for you!

Date: 2012-06-14 02:22 pm (UTC)
kalliel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kalliel
"Yeah. So I'll just stand here while you shower if that's all right with you."

Omg. <3333333 Sorry, I don't have many more words than that. This was such an enjoyable read, with an A+ ending. Thank you!

Date: 2012-06-23 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
THE SHOWER SCENE THIS SEASON MADE ME VERY HAPPY

Date: 2012-06-17 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sagetan.livejournal.com
Dean! He sounds so delightfully Dean-ish, and I love their seamless teamwork and Sam's adorable smile and basically everything about this. Very lovely read :)

Date: 2012-06-23 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Date: 2012-06-18 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rivkat.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed this! And I would love to see Dean bulked up nearly as much as Sam would.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Haha, totally!

Date: 2012-06-18 02:02 am (UTC)
inalasahl: (jackles)
From: [personal profile] inalasahl
I very much enjoyed this fic. I loved the way you handled Dean and Sam's separate reactions post-Purgatory.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
Thanks!

Date: 2012-06-22 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavishsqualor.livejournal.com
My goodness, this fic! I heart it to pieces. Dean's pants! The one-way mirror! The weird time and Sam not wanting to leave Dean alone, all of it, I JUST REALLY LOVE IT, OKAY.

Date: 2012-06-23 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glovered.livejournal.com
I am so glad to hear thatttt!
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