Dean 3:16 for [livejournal.com profile] zuben_eschamali

Jun. 2nd, 2011 12:22 pm
[identity profile] springflingmod.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] spn_springfling
Title: Dean 3:16
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Any warnings: spoilers up through season 3, mentions of major character death

Written by [livejournal.com profile] fromcainwthlove for [livejournal.com profile] zuben_eschamali!



"I know what you're doing."

Sam looks up at Dean, down at the jar of maraschino cherries in his hand, then up to meet his brother's gaze again.

"Congratulations, Dean, you've mastered the art of observation," Sam says. "We'll get you to 'two and two is four' yet."

"I know what you're really doing," Dean says, not taking the bait, the easy, joking out, and that discomfits Sam more than anything.

"And what am I really doing?" Sam asks, prying the lid off the vacuum-sealed jar with a hollow 'pop', restrained violence in the sharp twist of his wrist. "What's the shadowy secret motive behind dessert?"

"You're—" Dean balks at saying the words, just like Sam had hoped, and he feels a fraction of the tension in his shoulders ease. Dean's gaze is still heavy, still too direct, but Sam ignores it, popping the open jar of hot fudge into the microwave. It's good, homemade stuff from a creamery they passed on the way into town. The ice cream's rich and dense, hand-packed pints in five flavors thawing out on the cluttered hotel dresser.

It's a nicer place than they usually stay; not quite the Holiday Inn, but the doors are on the inside, there's a hot buffet down in the lounge in the morning, and the little pool is clean and blue. It cost twice what they usually pay, and Dean had argued that they couldn't afford it, but he hadn't argued very long. Sam had worried about that, too, unused to his brother letting him win anything, but he let it go. He didn't want to waste their time fighting.

Not when there's so little of it left.

The microwave dings and Sam reaches for it, but Dean gets there first, lifting the hot jar out carefully with his fingertips. The hot fudge starts to melt the scoops of ice cream mounded into styrofoam bowls almost as soon as it's poured. Dean licks the drips from the rim of the jar, considers it for a moment, then dips a finger into the thick sauce and pops it into his mouth, sucking noisily.

"It's good," he mumbles around his finger, throwing Sam a wink, and Sam realizes he's staring, flushes quick and dark and snaps his mouth shut with a click. He shakes up the can of Reddi-Whip and smothers the sundaes in whipped cream, sighing when Dean grabs the can from his hand and sprays some directly into his open mouth.

"You're a pig," Sam tells his brother, reaching for the sprinkles. Dean nods seriously, whipped cream smeared all across his lip.

"Always have been," Dean agrees. "Don't try to change me, Sammy."

Sam looks up at his brother, chocolate sauce on his chin and the collar of his shirt, and thinks that there is nothing he wouldn't give to keep Dean just like this. Aloud he says, "It hasn't worked for the last 25 years. I don't expect anything to be different now."

"Aw, you haven't been trying your whole life,," Dean argues, fishing a cherry out of the jar and plopping it into his dish. "When you were little, you thought everything I did was cool. You were such a smart kid. I dunno what happened."

Dean flashes him a grin, then catches sight of Sam's hand still curled around the sprinkles and grimaces. "Dude. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not actually an eight year old girl having a birthday party. I'm not eating rainbow sprinkles."

Sam looks down at the jar in his hand. The sprinkles are neon-colored, blue and pink and yellow, stamped into the shape of tiny stars. "This is all they had at the store," he says, which is a total lie, overriding Dean's protests and shaking a healthy scattering of sprinkles over each bowl. "Stop complaining. You'll eat what I put in your mouth and you'll like it."

It's out before he realizes how it sounds, and all he can do is pick up a spoon and dig into his sundae, ignoring Dean's arched brows and pointed smirk, his teasing murmur of, "Love it when you get bossy, Sammy." Sam's never been good at this kind of joking, always hot-faced and tongue-tied, and it's only gotten worse since it stopped being strictly a joke; since that night a few weeks ago when they stumbled back exhausted and bleeding after a hunt, and Sam pressed Dean into the door and kissed him, deep and messy, until Dean pushed him away.

Since then there've been half a dozen desperate, stolen kisses, late at night after hunts when the light's low and adrenaline's high. Sam's learned the shape of Dean's mouth, the hitched sounds he makes when Sam bites his lip, the sweet, aborted thrust of his hips. Just once he's gotten his hand on Dean, both of them so sloppy drunk Sam was distantly surprised he could get it up. Purely amazed when the slick pulse of Dean spilling over his knuckles had him humping the bed and coming in his jeans like a horny kid.

They haven't talked about it, and they don't talk now, spooning sticky mouthfuls of ice cream from their bowls in silence. They're good at not talking, Sam thinks; trained in it as surely as knot-tying or marksmanship or Latin, trained to follow orders and not ask questions. To not ask for anything at all.

Sam gathers up the empty bowls and cartons, stuffing them into the trash and jamming the melted remains of the ice cream into the hotel fridge's tiny freezer. He's not surprised when Dean steps up behind him, because he always knows where Dean is, tracking the soft rustle of his movement, the angle of his gaze. He's not even surprised when Dean's hand finds his hip and Dean's mouth touches the back of his neck, hot and soft; just breathes out a sigh of relief and turns on his brother, kissing him hard and wet and deep.

Dean lets him take control of the kiss; lets Sam push him back toward the bed, tangle him up and press him down. He lets Sam plunder his mouth, greedy and desperate, licking traces of chocolate away until all he can taste is Dean, warm and twice as sweet. It makes him a little crazy, the way Dean just opens up to him, doesn't fight him or try to take over, but another part of him loves Dean for letting him have this.

Sam gets himself down to boxers and Dean down to skin, and he wants to stare, wants to drink in the sight of Dean naked and panting, but he can't stop touching him for that long. He runs his hands from Dean's throat all the way down to his hips and then traces the path over again with his mouth. By the time Sam's licking his thighs apart Dean's hard and wet at the tip, flushed and gorgeous and fucking alive.

"I know what you're doing," Dean whispers, threading a hand through Sam's hair. Sam glances up through his lashes, mouth hovering, and meets Dean's gaze.

"Then let me do it," he says, and Sam swallows his brother down.

Sam keeps his eyes open when Dean comes, hot and salty across his tongue, his own fucked up Communion. For Dean so loved his brother that he died for his sins; but Sam loves him enough to forgive him. Sam could forgive Dean anything. Even making Sam live without him.

Outside the wind howls, and it's only his imagination that makes it sound like the baying of hounds. Inside, Sam kisses Dean, and finds new ways to say goodbye.

Date: 2011-06-02 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
MY HEART. ;_______;

Date: 2011-06-13 08:14 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-02 11:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] velvetsun.livejournal.com
I don't have the words to tell you how much I loved this. This line especially: <For Dean so loved his brother that he died for his sins; but Sam loves him enough to forgive him. Sam could forgive Dean anything. Even making Sam live without him.. And that last line, oh man, my heart hurts. Beautifully written. ♥
Edited Date: 2011-06-02 12:00 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-02 12:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jasmineisland.livejournal.com
I was going to quote that until I realized someone had beat me to it. ITA OMG made me cry for them.
Awesome.

Date: 2011-06-13 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fromcainwthlove.livejournal.com
thank you so much! it was one of those things where i wrote it as it came and only realized when i got to that line that it was what my story was about.

Date: 2011-06-02 01:06 pm (UTC)
ext_57687: (♥ spn_d/s | douchenozzles)
From: [identity profile] big-heart-june.livejournal.com
I have no words for the intense beauty of this fic. Oh man, SO MUCH LOVE ♥

Date: 2011-06-13 08:15 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-02 01:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zubeneschamali.livejournal.com
Ice cream and sex FTW!

But also that lingering desperation and angst, from the "restrained violence in the sharp twist of his wrist" to those killer last lines, that make this story about something so much deeper. Great title, too. Thanks!

Date: 2011-06-13 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fromcainwthlove.livejournal.com
i'm glad you enjoyed it! and now that it's been revealed, i can tell you that i actually wrote 1,600 words of something totally different--really light and happy (same prompt)--before realizing the night before it was due that i couldn't submit it because it was part of a j2 au 'verse i started that would obviously identify me. /)_(\

so, once i finish that story i'll post it and you'll have two for the price of one :p

Date: 2011-06-02 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killabeez.livejournal.com
Mmm, this is so good. I can see and hear them so clearly, and feel Sam's frustration and anger and fear. Their love for each other is palpable. Beautifully done!

Date: 2011-06-02 02:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jespretender.livejournal.com
Oh wow! Gorgeous, and sad.

Date: 2011-06-02 02:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fiercelynormal.livejournal.com
Beautiful - a great combination of angst and sweet!

Date: 2011-06-02 02:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strangeallure.livejournal.com
This is gorgeous.

He's not surprised when Dean steps up behind him, because he always knows where Dean is, tracking the soft rustle of his movement, the angle of his gaze.
- I love this detail.

Date: 2011-06-02 05:46 pm (UTC)
ext_104199: (Text tears)
From: [identity profile] sangre-fria.livejournal.com
Hot and sweet overall, but that last bit is just brutal; grabbed my heart and squeezed. ♥

Date: 2011-06-02 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] equally-dour.livejournal.com
That was gorgeous!

Date: 2011-06-02 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] orbiting-saturn.livejournal.com
::cries::

That made my girly heart go all gooey. Totally teared up at the end. What a lovely story.

Date: 2011-06-02 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sagetan.livejournal.com
This was beautiful and hurty and just perfect. Lovely!

Date: 2011-06-02 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] akintay.livejournal.com
Wow, absolutely beautiful and wonderfully bittersweet! I love this ♥

Date: 2011-06-03 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com
Oh my god. Stellar! Tight and beautifully written, and so wonderfully them. Sam, oh Sammy - taking care of Dean, giving him everything he can, forgiving him, and loving Dean for "letting him have this." Oh, Dean. Oh boys. And the ending is poetic and perfect. Break my heart.

Date: 2011-06-13 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fromcainwthlove.livejournal.com
wow, thank you so much. *blush*

Date: 2011-06-03 12:28 am (UTC)
ext_442008: (you can't possibly know)
From: [identity profile] transfixeddream.livejournal.com
Oh god, S3 is my favorite season for fic and you showed exactly why here. The emotion and the heartbreak you put into those last few lines especially - this was very awesome!

Date: 2011-06-13 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fromcainwthlove.livejournal.com
thank you--S3 is so awesome and rich with all this stuff, i wish i'd been in fandom when it aired to explore it more.

Date: 2011-06-03 11:30 am (UTC)
stormcloude: peace (Default)
From: [personal profile] stormcloude
Oh gosh, ice cream and sex with a little bit of angst sprinkles-- you sure know the way to this gal's heart. :)

Date: 2011-06-03 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lemanya.livejournal.com
Oh holy wow. This was just spot on and perfect. And oh, be still my heart, but that is such a very clever title. I applaud you
Edited Date: 2011-06-03 02:43 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-13 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fromcainwthlove.livejournal.com
hah, the title was a nightmare, i am so bad at titles. i was sifting through biblical quotes about brothers (um, there are a lot. i should have realized that.) for, like, an hour, until there was only about 30 minutes left to submit the story and i had to pick. so i'm glad it worked. :)

Date: 2011-06-05 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mistyzeo.livejournal.com
Oh gah, yum. This.

Date: 2011-06-18 09:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] locknkey.livejournal.com
trained to follow orders and not ask questions. To not ask for anything at all.That just made my heart sad - so true.

I love the combination of hot and hurt.

Date: 2011-07-08 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] locknkey.livejournal.com
Congrats! ☆ Your fic is recced here (http://sawedoff-recs.livejournal.com/128682.html) at [livejournal.com profile] sawedoff_recs.

sorry for the delayed notification!

Date: 2011-07-12 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spnmonster.livejournal.com
I just got something in my eye. That's all.
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