spn_springfling | A Stargazer Am I by stellamira for <user site="livejournal.com"

Title: A Stargazer Am I
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13

When Jensen is eight, his family and the Padaleckis go on a camping trip together. Their dads build a fire once it gets dark, and all the children except for Megan stuff themselves with s’mores and hot chocolate.

Away from the fire, the night is dark, a million bright dots in the cloudless sky. Jared's only four, so he might be more excited about being allowed to stay up after nightfall, but he still listens to Jensen tell him all he knows about the stars, planets, and constellations.

+++

When Jensen is thirteen, he gets to go to a science-centered summer camp. Jared starts crying when Jensen gets into the car beside his mom because he wants to come, too.

It's just as awesome as Jensen thought it would be; he likes making friends who share the same interests – even though none of them possess the kind of childlike fascination that Jared does.

He comes back with his skin covered in freckles and a model of the solar system. Jared quickly forgives Jensen for leaving without him when they hang it from the ceiling in his room.

+++

When Jensen is fourteen, Jared's grandfather gives him a telescope for his birthday. They spend hours nearly every night watching the moon going through its phases and tracking the path of the lager planets across the sky. Until the phone rings downstairs and Jared's mom says if Jensen doesn't come home right now, he'll be grounded for a week.

A full week without looking through the telescope sounds too hard to bear, so Jensen grabs his sky charts and runs over to his house.

+++

When Jensen is seventeen, he only needs to wait a moment after the sound of the ladder being pushed against the side of the house for Jared's head to appear in the window frame. Jared's hit a growth spurt lately, shooting up an inch a day, it seems. He hasn't gotten used to his longer limbs yet, so he crashes more than climbs over the window sill.

"Hi," he says sheepishly from the floor where he landed in a heap as Jensen glances up from his book, peering over the edge of the bed.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Dude." Jared frowns. "Perseids."

"Dude," Jensen mimics him. "The sun's not even down yet."

Jared's picking at his shoelaces. "I know. But I was so jittery during dinner that mom said I should go before I caused an earthquake."

Jensen puts down his book. "Dinner, huh? If you're all full, I guess we don't need to take the pie mom made for us." He laughs at Jared's indignant face.

When it gets dark Jensen drives them a couple of miles out of the city where they lie side by side in the truck's bed, stomachs content and full of pie and Mountain Dew, counting shooting stars.

+++

When Jensen is twenty he's home for Thanksgiving, spending most of the time he isn't with his family studying up in his room, Jared's commentary a nice background to the text he's reading.

"Did you know they're gonna send people up to actually live on the new space station soon?" Jared's lying on Jensen's bed, holding a copy of Sky &Telescope over his head. "Maybe next summer."

"Sure." Jensen turns a page in The Physics of the Interstellar Medium.

"Can you imagine that? Being all those miles up there? I think it'd be awesome, like looking in from the outside." Jared's always been more interested in the technical things, the NASA missions and moon explorations. Jensen wouldn't be surprised if he grew up to be an astronaut one day.

“I’m rather on the inside looking out, honestly. Besides, who’s gonna keep your sorry ass company if I’m on a space mission for six months?”

"True." Jared's trying to balance the magazine on one finger. "I think I might be gay."

It's so out of the blue that Jensen can only blink at first. "Huh?"

"Yeah." Jared's voice doesn't waiver – although he doesn’t look at Jensen, either. "I slept with Sandy and it was pretty bad."

Jensen caps his highlighter. "Jared, having awkward sex doesn't necessarily mean that you're gay – just that you're a teenager."

Jared turns his head then, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks. "How did you know?"

Jensen shrugs. "I fucked a guy."

"Oh. Uh. I don't know if I'm up for that." Jared pauses, then turns even redder. "I mean, I'm up, obviously. It's up. Just not for – No problems in that department. Just – Shut up, you ass." He throws the magazine at Jensen, who's doubled over in his chair, laughing.

+++

When Jensen is twenty-three, he hasn't seen Jared for almost half a year. The age gap between them had never been a problem until Jensen went to college and Jared was still stuck in high school. As Jensen started his graduate program, Jared moved to his own college all the way across the country, and it sucks.

Their schedules don't align, neither of them has the money to come see each other, phone bills get too high too soon so they try to make do with emailing several times a week. Every time Jensen drives out to the Palomar Observatory, he misses Jared, thinks about how they would watch the stars together in their backyards.

+++

When Jensen is twenty-six, he opens the door of the apartment he shares with Danneel and Aldis, two of the other graduate students, to find Jared outside with a backpack over his shoulder, looking like he hasn't slept in days.

"Well," he says after Jensen's gaped at him like a fish for an eternity, taking him in. "Are you going to invite me in, Dr. Ackles?"

"I'm not a doctor yet," Jensen says, running on autopilot because Jared is here, four days after his graduation. "How did you –"

"They invented this great thing called an automobile. Maybe you've seen one, they're these big carriages without horses."

"Shut up." Jensen punches him in the chest. Jared's grown taller than Jensen and he's built, muscles shifting under Jensen's touch. His hair's grown, too, curling out from under a white beanie.

Finally letting Jared in, Jensen promptly stumbles over a pair of shoes someone's left in the middle of the hallway, but Jared steadies him with a firm hand on his waist. Suddenly he's close, so close, and when he says – whispers, really, "I'm starting grad school here in the fall, you happen to have some space for me somewhere," Jensen's heart skips a beat.

"I've missed you so much," Jared says, and Jensen turns around.

Their first kiss happens right there against the wall, soft and slow, speaking of years of their friendship and the yearning while they were apart. The hand Jared keeps on the back of Jensen's head guides him into the best angle for their tongues to slide together, and that's far hotter than Jensen would have thought.

Later, when Jared's sleeping next to him with his arm slung over Jensen's chest, Jensen thinks how he'll show Jared around the campus tomorrow, take him to the observatory when they find time, and drive him out of the city in August to see the Perseids, lying side by side in the bed of his truck like they used to.

+++

When Jensen is twenty-eight, he's got a shiny new PhD in astronomy and a shiny new engagement ring on his finger. It's crafted from a piece of genuine meteorite, lined with gold. It wasn’t cheap to buy a matching pair but it was worth every penny when Jared saw it.

They come home from a department barbecue on a hot July afternoon where Jensen, naturally, got terribly sunburned while Jared just got a shade darker, if at all.

Jared rubs aloe onto his shoulders like a good fiancé then traces random patterns on his skin with a careful finger. "You know, I've always liked your freckles."

Jensen hums in question, too relaxed to form actual words.

"Yeah. They're like little constellations on your skin." He kisses Jensen's shoulder, then lifts the back of Jensen's boxers. "Oh, look, there's Ursa Major right there on your ass."

Jensen tries to hit him, but Jared catches his arm and presses a kiss to his palm as well. Then he pulls Jensen's underwear off completely and proceeds to make him see stars.

The End.